So....
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- WildPony0
last night I slept like a lawyer. First I lied on one side then I lied on the other.
- paulrand0
My father was never home; he was always away drinking booze. He saw a sign saying, "Drink Canada Dry!" So he went up there.
- DutchBoy0
I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure..
- DutchBoy0
So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said "I want to buy an ice-cream". He said Hundreds & thousands?" I said "We"ll start with one." He said "Knickerbocker glory?" I said "I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes."
- DutchBoy0
So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died."
- DutchBoy0
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu.
But I think it's Colin.
- DutchBoy0
Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy said to Dolly 'I was artificially inseminated this morning.'
'I don't believe you,' said Dolly
'It's true, straight up, no bull!'
- bull0
So I went to the doctor, to get my test results.
He said 'terrible news, my man, you have only 3 minutes to live!'
I said 'is there nothing you can do for me????'
'Well', he said,'do you fancy a boiled egg?'
- DutchBoy0
so how did the HIV test go?
no worries there, i am absolutely positive.
- jevad0
hahaha - stiches i'm in - stitches!
- snarlen0
So I used to be a waiter, but I was fired for clearing the tables...
I was clearing them for take-off
- zeroblade0
i used to think dogs were really nice. now i am sure, and i'm looking forward to my next dinner.