fathers
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- mirola0
i think no alcohol is totally going to do her in. especially as we're off to mexico in two weeks!
- mirola0
donal you totally got me welling up, i promise to savour it all as much as possible. thanks for sharing your experience and i'm truly sorry for your loss.
ness, my girlfriend's good with it she's wanted it for ages. she's got a BA in early childhood studies, she was a nannie for 10 years and now she works as a child healthcare visitor so she's pretty well qualified. i on the other hand am an idiot who has never even held a baby but i think i'll make a good dad.
- donal0
its funny this thread came up today - its my daughter's first birthday on sunday.
Unfortunatly she won't be here to celebrate it with us as she died of cot death in june, aged seven months.
When i first heard we were going to have a baby i was at first concerned for my girlfrien and how worried she must have been. it took me a while to get anxious about it and looking back its unreal how immature i was - my biggest fear was telling my aul pair.
to anyone looking forward to having a child i would have to say savour every moment of it - the anticipation, the birth annd every moment of your childs growth (and yours)
Ayla, my baby girl was the best thing that ever happened to me and i miss her terribly every monent of the day.
- runDMB0
My sister sent me the stuff below. I have two boys and I'm afraid some (most) of it is true:
Follow these 15 simple tests before you decide to have children. . .
Test 1
Women: To prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months remove 10% of the beans.
Men: To prepare for paternity, go to local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.
Test 2
Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour. Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.
Test 3
To discover how the nights will feel . . .
1) Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4-6kg, with a radio tuned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2) At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3) Get up at 12pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am
4) Set the alarm for 3am.
5) As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6) Go to bed at 2:45am.
7) Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off
8) Sing songs in the dark until 4 am.
9) Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off
10) Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.Test 4
Dressing small children is not as easy at it seems.
1) Buy a live octopus and a string bag .
2) Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that none of the arms hang out. Time allowed for this - all morning.Test 5
Forget the BMW and buy a practical 5-door saloon. And don t think that you can leave it out on the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1) Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. leave it there.
2) Get a coin. Insert it in the cassette player.
3) Take a family size package of chocolate biscuits, mash them into the back seat.
4) Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There. . perfect!Test 6
Get ready to go out.
1) Wait
2) Go out the front door.
3) Come in again.
4) Go out.
5) Come back in.
6) Go out again.
7) Walk down the front path/driveway.
8) Walk back up it.
9) Walk down it again.
10) Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
11) Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way.
12) Retrace your steps.
13) Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
14) Give up and go back into the house. You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.Test 7
Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.
Test 8
Go the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is excellent). If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your weeks groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Test 9
1) Hollow out a melon.
2) Make a small hole in the side.
3) Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it from side to side
4) Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5) Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6) Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12 month old child.Test 10
Learn the names of every character from the Fimbles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney. Watch nothing else on TV for at least five years.
Test 11
Can you stand the mess children make ?
To find out, smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer. Stick your fingers in the flower beds then rub them on the clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look ?
Test 12
Make a recording of Janet Street-Porter shouting "Mummy" repeatedly. Important: No more than a four second delay between each "Mummy " occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Test 13
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continuously tug on your skirt hem/shirt sleeve/elbow while playing the "Mummy" tape made from Test 12 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
Test 14
Put on your finest work attire. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting. Now:
1) Take a cup of cream, and put 1 cup lemon juice in it.
2) Stir.
3) Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture.
4) Attempt to clean your shirt with the saturated towel.
5) Do NOT change. You have no time.
6) Go directly to work.Test 15
Go for a drive, but first. . . .
1) Find one large tomcat and six pit bulls.
2) Borrow a child safety seat and put it in the back seat of your car.
3) Put the pit bulls in the front seat of your car.
4) While holding something fragile or delicate, strap the cat into the child seat.
5) For the really adventurous. . . . Run some errands, remove and replace the cat at each stop.
- paulrand0
"a really wierd mix of happiness, excitement, terror"
you said it well.
it turned out great for me, and I trust it will for you!
- North_20
Question is, should this man be allowed to hold this child...?
- nessdog0
congrats. i'm sure you'll make a super daddy. how does your lady feel about it? I'd be petrified... 9 months without alcohol. owch.
- BXCAR0
voilà : )
- mirola0
thanks everyone, i'll keep you posted on how it's going.
it's wierd, i wanted to hold it off until i felt ready but now i have no choice i suddenly feel very ready.
- shutdown0
i thought i'd have to do loads of growing up and doing all the boring grown up things but i've been able to still twat about on my motorbike (although a lot more carefully) and go out at weekends together
- jox0
congratulations.
i'm not quite there yet, but i'm hoping i will be some time soon. I guess I have to grow up eventually, and if that isn't a step in the right direction, i don't know what is.
- rasko40
congrats :)
I gave birth to a baby deer once but thats another not so pleasant story.
- BXCAR0
héhé
- mirola0
we kind of got lazy about contraception because we basically both wanted to have kids soon. we just wanted to wait until after the new year.
- BXCAR0
i dont believe in tiny bits of stupidity : )
- CyBrainX0
"a tiny little bit of stupidity for that one night where i couldn't move her off me in time."
Did everyone get my comment about condoms? How about any birth control?
Don't forget, sex can end life as well as create it.
- BXCAR0
Mirola,
CONGRATS : )
Its going to be fine.
Do not worry too much, theres a new chapter in your life starting and thats cool.
Get that champagne and relax...
All the best for you : )
- pascii0
aw well - this little buggers are ok. unfortunately i don't know if my gf is the right wife and i have a school to finish. but after that, who knows : )
- tfs__mag0
yeah, don't get alcohol. get something you can share together. when my wife was pregnant i didn't drink in the house in front of her ever. They get REALLY emotional during the pregnancy too, so you might want to prepare yourself for it! I had to hold my tounge alot when my wife was pregnant. By the time the baby is born, it's all worth it.
- mirola0
i suppose i can tell you lot because i don't actualy know any of you but my gf is 6 wks gone. i thought we might leave it for a year or so but hey, here we go. i'm feeling a really wierd mix of happiness, excitement, terror and a tiny little bit of stupidity for that one night where i couldn't move her off me in time.
feeling pretty buzzed at the moment. i'm gonna get some flowers for her on the way home from work. would it be insensitive to get champage?