copywriting | 3rd person

Out of context: Reply #8

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  • rasko40

    actually its a bit mixed, sometimes you are talking about 'Janne' and 'CMYD' and then you start saying 'we' and 'us' which could be confusing, actually it isn't but the grammar police may be on it.. the general feel of the copy is fine and professional, though I feel at times slightly long-winded. I think you should make the line length shorter and give a bit more leading though as it gets quite hard to read and is actually quite off putting in the heavier paragraphs.

    hope that helps.

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