blog
Out of context: Reply #75479
- Started
- Last post
- 75,602 Responses
- garbage1
re: hydro's police shooting range post
Triggered a very hilarious memory.
(not my photos)That's the Cahaba Lily. It's an endangered riverflower that only grows in a few hard to reach places.
So way back when, a friend and I borrowed this bonk-ass 1980s rickety canoe from his aunt, loaded up with cameras, and set sail on we dubbed the SS Friday the 13th.
So we're fucking wobbling this total jalopy of a canoe, with a shit ton of film cameras and zero GPS. The streams we're on start getting narrower, shallower and faster. The dumbest question asked in the SS Friday the 13th was "Um.. do you think we're lost?"
We are in the middle of fucking nowhere at this point, and Gods be praised, in a small break in the treeline I spy a barbed wire fence to our port. Banked, and I jumped it to see if we had a reasonable egress.
Looked to my left, looked to my right. I'm in the middle of a row of shooting targets. I have accidentally broken into the back end of a police shooting range. I'm talking the ones with human targets that look like the male bathroom icon.
I jumped back so fucking fast, just screaming "GO GO GO", hyperventilating and not making any sense for another mile or so.
We come to another fucking barbwire fence on the port bank. With much, much more caution I crawl up and straddle the top. It's a fucking junkyard.
My friend: Why are you whistling?
Me in angry whisper tones: BECAUSE I'M LOOKING AT FUCKING JUNKYARD AND THEY MIGHT HAVE A DOG YOU FUCKING MORON.They did not have a dog, and so we threw this massive metal canoe over the fence, and walked out through the front gate. The owners saw us and were too confused to confront two sweaty ass dudes in with camera gear hauling a canoe.
Found an empty lot and after some argument, it was agreed that I've been hopping fences all day, so it's on him to hitch a ride to pick up the truck that we launched from.
I flip over the canoe and hide underneath it, and I start hearing rings of thunder and thinking of how fucking stupid the headlines of my death are going to be.
"CANOE BOY THUNDERSTRUCK IN PARKING LOT", or just "LOOK AT THIS IDIOT" with a photo of my sizzled arm hanging out of the canoe.
He managed to get the truck. We did not manage to take a single fucking photo or even see a lily. Fun day.