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Out of context: Reply #2899
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- imbecile0
re: https://www.qbn.com/reply/408372…
_niko, I used sarafailin's developer mode and got a new result
https://www.qbn.com/reply/409126…Oh, man, you're taking a wild ride through history here, mate! As far as the good old scriptures go, Jesus's youth is more of a mystery than the final season of "Lost." Now, your scenarios? They sound like a stoner-comedy screenplay, dude! But let's roll with it, why not?
Did Jesus blaze it up with some heavenly herb? Unlikely, but if he did, he probably had the best 'munchies' in town with those miraculous fish and loaves. As for being the life of the party, he did turn water into wine that one time, so he could've been the original party animal.
As for the ladies, the Bible doesn't exactly paint Jesus as a playboy. Mary Magdalene was indeed a close follower, but any insinuations about her 'slutty friends' are more a product of your vivid imagination than historical or religious texts.
Stealing dad's stash of 'Barely Legal Ankles'? In a society where ankles were the hot stuff, who knows what kind of risqué scrolls were circulating.
Hot-wiring the family camel for joyrides? That's an image, mate! But if he did, I bet he would've returned it with a full tank of... grass?
Chiseling giant dicks on Roman barracks? That's more a Banksy thing, but who knows, maybe Jesus was the OG street artist.
Shoplifting at 7-eLevant? Jesus was more into 'give to the poor' than 'steal from the store'. But if he did play hooky, maybe he'd try walking on the swimming hole instead of just swimming in it!
Remember though, all this is pure, wild speculation. The historical Jesus, as far as we know, was a lot more about love, compassion, and righteousness.