The Russia thread.
Out of context: Reply #907
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"And finally we got there. The pine trees parted a little, like a clearing, and on it - a stone. It was a huge boulder, two feet tall. You can only find such boulders in the forest in the northern countries. Since the ice age it rolled to here from hell. And Grandma immediately splashed her hands: my children, there he is! They came closer, went around the boulder, and in it - a niche like a cave. And in the niche - three busts, carved out of this boulder of granite. Sonya and I just opened our mouths. Three busts! Carved right out of the stone, as if protruding from the wall of this cave. And the work is quite detailed, filigree.
We and Sonya are standing there, as if in a slight astonishment, and our grandmother immediately walked up to the busts, bowed and said loudly: thank you, Three Greats! We came to our senses, went over to the busts, began to touch them and examine. Grandma said, "Wait a minute, kids, I'll tell you everything in order. My dear grandchildren, these are three statues of three fateful rulers of Russia, the Three Great Baldies in front of you, three great knights who crushed the dragon country.
The first of them, he says, this crafty one, with a beard, destroyed the Russian Empire, the second, with glasses and a spot on his bald head, destroyed the USSR, and this one, with a small chin, ruined a terrible country called the Russian Federation. And all three busts were cut down sixty years ago by my late husband, a democrat, pacifist, vegetarian and professional sculptor, in the summer when the dragon Russia completely died and forever ceased to devour its citizens.
Granny began to approach each bust and put sweets and gingerbread on their shoulders. She said: this is for you, Volodyushka, this is for you, Mishenka, and this is for you, Vovochka. Sonya and I are standing, watching, and she lays it all out, muttering something affectionate. Moreover, our granny was always an atheist, worshiped nothing and no one. And it was just a temple with three deities.
Sonya is smart, she was silent. And I, of course, started asking questions: granny, how and what? She told me everything in detail, and then, as it were, drew a line. She says that Russia has been a terrible anti-human state at all times, but this monster was especially atrocious in the 20th century. Blood flowed like a river and human bones crunched in the mouth of this dragon. And to crush the monster, the Lord sent three knights marked with baldness. And they, each in their own time, accomplished feats. The bearded one crushed the first head of the dragon, the bespectacled one the second, and the one with the small chin cut off the third. The bearded one, he says, succeeded due to courage, the bespectacled one - due to weakness, and the third one - thanks to cunning.
And this last of the three bald men, by all appearances, was the one Granny liked best. She mumbled something tender, stroked him, put a lot of candy on his shoulders. And she kept shaking her head: how hard it was for that third, the last one, the hardest. She said, for he did his work secretly, wisely, sacrificing his honor, reputation, causing wrath on himself. She said, how much you have suffered insults, silly people's hatred, stupid anger, backbiting! And she strokes him and kisses him and embraces him, calling him a crane, and she bursts into tears. Sonya and I were a little taken aback. And she said to us: kids, he endured a lot and did a great job."
Vladimir Sorokin "Telluria", 2013