Turns out I'm dating a Pro...
Out of context: Reply #50
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- catpower7
A quick update:
It's been a few weeks since we've hung out. I asked her if she'd like to grab dinner and talk things over on Saturday. One odd bi-product of all this drama is that we've been able to communicate well. Everything is basically out in the open, so there's no need to guard language or intentions at this point. It's weirdly freeing.
In normal relationships, you have to balance openness with not freaking her the fuck out with your tentacle porn addiction. But she hits different.
Our dinner began with her trying to kiss me but I flenched. Because dicks. Strong start.
But as dinner progressed, we got loose and ended up having a great time. She's legitimately quirky and funny when she's not being a trifflin'-ass ho. After more drinks than I could count, she finally asked me, "so what do you want to do?"
Though she meant it existentially, I responded literally. "Fuck your whore mouth." On brand, she was like, "I'll fuck you till you love me, f*ggot." (a Mike Tyson quote... pretty funny in the moment...).
We make it back to her place, but when we got there, her roommate was still up with ALL the lights on blasting the new season of Tiger King. This was the least sexy mood possible. The lighting was so aggressive. It felt like that dirty moment at last call when they turn on the lights and everyone's shame is in full view. Rough.
Though the vibe was dead, we had fun chatting. Tiger King is the easiest thing ever to make jokes with, so conversation flowed.
Eventually, we started talking about Joe Exotic and how his dick is pierced. I jokingly started fake vomiting, but the roommate was like "I'm really into that. I got my clit pierced."
*record scratch
I've seen this on the internets, but never in the wild. My girl and I started joking with her, calling her "Susan Exotic." I decided to push it and said "tell me you have daddy issues without telling me you have daddy issues, Susan Exotic."
"Daddy issues? I'll show you daddy issues." She stood up with purpose, like a pitcher coming off of the bench, pulled down the front of her baggy plaid shorts, and showed us the monkey.
This was not hot. I know it sounds hot. But again — this was not hot. It was like watching someone take a shit or something. She pulled them down, pushed on her FUPA with her palm so the piercing could pop out, and said "there she is" as she gave it a little flick.
She was just so brazen. No subtlety. No sexy reveal. Just a lot of big clit energy. She also had a "stick and poke" lightning tat on the right side of her cooch, so there's that.
My girl and I called it a night and retired to her room. We made out a bit and I came on her tits. She refused to wipe off my offering and went to bed covered. So trashy. So hot.
While she was asleep counting dicks or whatever hos dream about, I was was wide awake, drowning in thoughts: "It's 4 am. You're in Echo Park. You're hanging out with whores. Jesus, get your fucking life together. Man, who gets their clit pieced?! Also, I wonder when she got her vag tatted. Looked like a prison tat. Maybe she was in prison?! That's kind of hot, actually. Fuck." *cue awkward boner
- this is the thread that just keeps on givinghans_glib
- She ain't kinky, she ratchet.
Hook up your anecdotes to my NFTs and get in on the game, playa.palimpsest - I could google so much stuff right now.
But I googled where Echo Park is.Longcopylover - FUPA was the one I had to look up. FUPA, eh.Brabo_Brabo
- “asleep counting dicks” LOLmort_
- Ttrifflin'-ass ho.
Also, FUPA troopababydick - "While she was asleep counting dicks or whatever hos dream about..." you ruined it here for me. sad that you think/feel that way.oey_oey
- Has your chick ever done a"Soft White Underbelly" interview? https://www.youtube.…stoplying
- many ughsjagara
- Euphoria, S2, EP 8ArmandoEstrada
- @oey_oey... obviously said in jest.catpower
- @stoplying... know of SWU. Not really her vibe. She looks like a cool grad student (b/c she is). You would have no idea she's a pro if she didn't tell you.catpower
- incredible.Gucci
- Welcome to Echo Park (waves from Elysian Heights)cannonball1978