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Out of context: Reply #69964

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  • BusterBoy6

    In a super major funk at the moment. Worst I've ever been. Work going horribly...hardly bringing anything in. Would look for a job, but been doing this "jack of all trades...master of none" shit for so long, doubt anyone would employ me. In a huge hole financially. Wife working hard...stressed out and unhappy. I feel so worthless, have hardly spoken to anyone outside my family and one friend for months. Have to go to a birthday party tomorrow...everyone there will be super well off. I'll be envious. I'll feel like shit. Will have NOTHING to talk about as I've done nothing for months and months. Just random surfing the web shit almost all day. Doubt my kids are proud of me. They like me I guess...but not proud of anything I've actually done. I can't actually remember anything I've done. Can't even afford to seek help. Have no retirement savings. All just getting too hard.

    Not expecting anyone to read or comment. Just wanted to vent in public. Don't know what to do anymore. God this sounds pathetic.

    • Apologies for this. Just reading back...fucken woe is me crap.BusterBoy
    • Dude. You got the weight of the world on your shoulders. Solve one little thing first. Happiness is a byproduct of usefulness. Get that confidence back.DRIFTMONKEY
    • focus on what you can do not what you can't 2:30: https://www.youtube.…_niko
    • is there anything else you'd rather be doing career wise? something you've always dreamt of? maybe not too late to try and make t happen._niko
    • and be thankful you have a wife and healthy kids who love you, you live better than 99% of the planet, don't put extra bullshit pressure on yourself._niko
    • Your rich bro you got love within arms reach. Recognize.robotron3k
    • financial problems come and go, the people around you are so much more valuable. spend time with your children. Let your mood change and money will find you.imbecile
    • Where are you from, what do you do?Hayoth
    • Sit down and put a plan in place. Set goals major ones and small ones. Talk them over with the wife and start working towards them.HijoDMaite
    • Very difficult to see the positives ATM. I appreciate the advice...I almost feel like my family would be better off without me here.BusterBoy
    • Adjust them as needed but always focus on the large picture. A man with a plan helps a woman and family feel more secure. Even you are not whereHijoDMaite
    • Wouldn't do anything drastic like that...but I've been stuck in this paralysis like depression for years and too fucken lay to help myself.BusterBoy
    • you want to be, you are working towards that. It will give you motivation and confidence as you start checking things off the goal list.HijoDMaite
    • Start small, such as go to bed at certain time and wake up super early no matter what.HijoDMaite
    • I think you took a HUGE step by opening up honest-wise about it. Keep that up and you'll pull through. I promise.zarb0z
    • you have a woman who loves you in good times and in bad, w/ beautiful children by her, what do you mean it's hard to see the positives? they're right there. :)imbecile
    • i agree, small goals. generate some serotonin in your brain and start feeding your reward center naturally. clean, clean everything if you have time.imbecile
    • Right ATM, I feel like I am dragging my beautiful family down a hole with me...and it makes me ill.BusterBoy
    • VERY hard to see any light...but thanks for the advice. Just needed to vent.BusterBoy
    • Not pathetic at all and been in the same a year or so. All so familiar. Jack of all, lost my 12 yr position and gig to gig now after 6fig life and expensesDarkCover
    • Others have seen it my notes about it but my 2-1/2 yr old diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy at just under a year and started me down the sprial...DarkCover
    • Still haven't rebounded in any way...no passion for the work I HAVE to take to pay the bills. Havent missed a single payment but damn hardDarkCover
    • Wife also panicking while working and us both dealing with 40+ DR appts a month for the kids and thats when not sick etc. Kid already put under 6 timesDarkCover
    • more than me in 40 years, and shes also had 4 surgeries with many more to come. DRINK way too much. Quit smoking to look for work but patience there eitherDarkCover
    • STAY tough and trying to do that same...very frankly without the kiddo Im not sure what id be living for and with all the shit she makes it worth it somehow.DarkCover
    • *no patience there either...
      *how id be living
      In the words of Joe Dirt...Keep on Keepin On homie!
      DarkCover
    • +BusterBoy
    • Also tried talking about my shit to a couple of mates months and months ago. Not a peep from them since. They all talk the talk when it comes to mental health.BusterBoy
    • But when it came to the crunch, none wanted my negative energy upsetting their lives. Even things like that make me angry.BusterBoy
    • If I was in a good place, I'd just say 'fuck em' and move on. But it really cuts deep when so called friends just abandon you.BusterBoy
    • Been there too homie. So many of our circle went on on on about being for us with kids medical issues and 98% gone or barely reach out anymoreDarkCover
    • Real life dramas will sure prove who is legit, will be there no matter what and who is only there on the 'surface'DarkCover
    • Even my wife's brother who is stupid wealthy mansion, pool, Bentley and so on always says what ever we need but barely comes around...DarkCover
    • Wife mentions some special summer camp for handicap kids that we couldn't afford with me out of FT work and he blew it off like the wind blowing on a tuesday.DarkCover
    • whenever I feel like this, which is often, I read about melting permafrost and the out of control climate feedback loops and it makes it all seem insignificantautoflavour
    • REAL life shows REAL COLORS and the saying comes out TRUE in full force when dealing with major life changing events or issues.DarkCover
    • https://www.vice.com…autoflavour
    • Let me dig it our but have a fake gmail ive used on here to connect out of my DarkCover user if you want to connect. No Worries if not.DarkCover
    • Have to reset the password cause I don't know it anymore but can hit me here and we can exchange real ones if you like: jobsfr33lance@gmailDarkCover
    • you sound like a sad emo drunk. however let it poor out. sometimes a good reset needs a good vent.deathboy
    • but not a psychologist however the things you most are concerned with are things you have no control over. well besides making money even if not in your "field"deathboy
    • simply breath and evaluate wether your current "profession" makes you happy. clearly its not and providing money makes you happy. seek alternatives. the shitdeathboy
    • coming out of colleges nowadays is all debt and no clues. can pretty much write your ticket with a jack of all trades sense.deathboy
    • that will be 250 dollars for 5 minutesdeathboy
    • sorry, didn't mean to be glum before.. I do feel you pain tho.. I am constantly just scraping by doing random jobs.. wasting WAY too much time on the webautoflavour
    • get a hobby, start a podcast, make some music, find a way to channel that energy into something positive, even just for your own sanity ..autoflavour
    • @BusterBoy It’s too easy to say “find a hobby, make some music” etc. I know it can be hard to find energy and creativity for that in your context.iGin
    • All I can advise is avoid games, TV and web junk. The following helped me a lot when I was in your situation: sort stuffs, fix furniture, walk in parc, etciGin
    • Think of the depression you go through as what it is - an illness that needs to be treated and that will pass - it will take time but you will recover from thisjamesbeat
    • Like the others said: stop sitting in front of screens all day and night, drinking, not sleeping enough or sleeping too much, set up some simple rules.jamesbeat
    • Get back in control, don't decide based on what you think is expected of you but on what matters to you and your family. You don't gave to go to that party.jamesbeat
    • Don't be mad at your freinds. They certainly struggle themselves and just dont find the time or the right words to cheer you up. Care about them and they will.jamesbeat
    • Posts like this one reminds me that I'm lucky to be part of this QBN thing. Its cool to have the possibilty to share stuff with people from so many placesBennn
    • and get feedback, help, support, advices.Bennn
    • ^ yeah, what they said - great conversation. Perhaps volunteer somewhere if you don't already. Good luck to you.bezoar
    • @buster: I don't want to get into my situation, but there are parallels with my own situation re: family & your self-estimation. Thanks. Be Good.Nairn
    • btw, re: "jack of all trades" concern - you're probably better- positioned than you realise. https://www.nytimes.…Nairn
    • agree with nairn, It's benefited me greatly being a jack of all trades, able to take on pretty much any work that comes my way._niko
    • It's brave of you to open up like this - and a good idea. Look at the folks coming out of the woodwork who've been in a similar place.Daithi
    • Like myself. A great friend of mine who went through worse shit himself once told me you have to love yourself, even the bad bits. Accept yourself.Daithi
    • Thank you everyone. I appreciate it more than you know.BusterBoy
    • Can also vouch to being grateful for being a jack of all trades. Have a stable job at a video game studio cuz im the guy you can call on to do pretty much w/emantrakid
    • I was in a place like that years ago, and just finding a project i was passionate about and pouring myself into it really helped me focus and shift gears.mantrakid
    • Led to a new career, renewed confidence, and the feeling that i was doing something i was meant to. Felt good. But it comes in cycles for me too.mantrakid
    • <3 hugs from vancouver island.mantrakid

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