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Out of context: Reply #68935
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- shellie3
A very friend just got engaged and her dad recently passed (I attended the funeral. I considered him a father, the friend a sister). Everyone in the family found out on facebook. My friend's fiance didn't bother to call her brother, the last namesake of the family or the surviving mother before he asked her. His excuse was that he didn't want anyone to spoil the surprise. But, who would do that? We all would have been super, super stoked and ready to celebrate after and let her have that moment. We all found out on facebook/instagram (parents and siblings included) and I was flooded with calls and texts from the family beside themselves about finding out the news that way.
My first thought was, although this was a moment between them, they were really rude about this. Especially in the wake of the deceased and the surviving family that would have wanted to be a part of it, might have flown out or planned something. Even if the guy didn't ask the family, for the girl to at least have told them first before posting it on social media would have been expected. Millennials...
She has now removed the posts from her instagram and facebook stories and their moment is kinda (self inflicted) ruined. I feel bad for her but also... (-____-) they never would have met each other if I didn't let her move into my apt for free for months after dropping out of college and letting her figure out what she wanted to do next where she met her now fiance on the job. I really would have thought she would have texted me at least but she hasn't said a word to me about it. I'm kinda hurt. This is a life changing moment I had a direct influence in creating for her. I'd have assumed I'd be a part of the wedding but now I sadly doubt it. I'd have liked to take a celebratory bow if only to run over some champagne to congratulate them both over the weekend. I thought we were close :'(
- She was not your very friendset
- Friends share their ups and downs together. I'm with set. don't think it's an millennial thing just a shitty thing to do.mugwart
- ultimately it's up to them. Maybe they didn't want to deal with the fuss after her dad passing. It wasn't just you they didn't tell, so don't take it personallyFax_Benson
- my best friend texted me to say he got married the previous week. That's how he chose to get married. Doesn't mean he doesn't like me.Fax_Benson
- at least that's what I'm telling myself.Fax_Benson
- Sometimes among all the pressures to do good by others, you want to do what you want. And sometimes you want things to be just yours, on a tiny scale.spl33nidoru
- You and family members might be upset of the way it happened, but your friends didn't actively do anyone harm, they did their thing.spl33nidoru
- :(pango
- hey, you avoided having to fork out for a wedding present they didn't want anyway.
:)
It's their call - find out the detail before taking it personallyNairn - ouch! but maybe they have their (weird or not) reasons, dunno...maybe it was an escape. I understand it might hurt and one gets pissed but just wait to see...oey
- It may is a cultural thing, but here marriage is a thing for the two who get married in first place. We don't overrate it, you may shouldn't either.Longcopylover
- Its all about you isnt itcannonball1978
- we got married far away from family and friends, 3friends/witness were there. Some want their wedding to be about them only, not other people and festivities.dyspl
- the brother-calling piece is paternalistic and i think should stop happening. but you'd think they would have communicated something to someone pre-social mediasarahfailin
- She just set the pace for the direction your friendship will head after the marriage. Let her be, live your life.robotron3k
- sounds like someone whose father died and is acting out of character.inteliboy