Out of context: Reply #68285

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  • WhiteFace0

    Help me make a big decision! A bit of history - I moved to a small alpine town France 6 years ago from the UK, snowboarded in the winter, MTB in the summer, had steady freelance work, but not well paid, met a girl, everything was coming together. Then I badly broke my leg, permanently damaged it, couldn't socialise much because it's all based around the mountain, work was tough, plowed through my savings (and I had 4 bitcoin stolen!), and then my girlfriend left me, rough couple of years. Now I have 2 options...

    1) Stay in France - bump into my Ex a lot, seeing her settle down with someone else etc which will be tough. Also difficult to meet someone new. And my snowboarding days are numbered. Try and build up my business (possible due to the low cost of living) and chase the dream of buying a house out there.

    2) Cut my losses and move back to the UK - scrap the freelance gig and try and find a more sociable full-time job, have more chance of meeting someone else, and basically start afresh. But will probably always wonder 'what if I'd stayed'

    I've been weighing it up for weeks now but still no closer to a decision so obviously I thought I'd ask the QBeens, how the fuck do you make a decision like this!?

    • No one other than yourself can really answer this for you, imho - but given you're asking, it sounds like at least part of your mind is made up, but ...detritus
    • ..the rest of you doesn't want to let go, to 'give up' on what is clearly an important stage in your life. Good luck. Big changes rarely seem as much afterwardsdetritus
    • Are there no third ways? Do yu speak French well enough to get a job elsewhere in France?detritus
    • My French is ok, needs more practice but yea in theory I could.WhiteFace
    • i wouldn't give up france. what detritus said, find a full time job in france to build up some buffer and pull your shit together :)sted
    • Yep, from the way you said clearly 2) is more appealing and excited, and if the only downside is 'what if' then that's nothing.set
    • You could say 'what if' if you stayed! Sorry to hear you've had a tough time man. I say go and start a new life!set
    • I'd wait it out another winter. Focus on those projects you want to do while costs are low and time is plenty.shapesalad
    • Wait to see how this shitstorm of Brexit unfolds. Staying a bit longer might get you some EU options should you want to return/stay.shapesalad
    • Leaving right now, probably also saying goodbye to any chance of returning if Brexit = "those living in EU country before 19 March get right to remain. "shapesalad
    • "after 19 March, no right to stay in EU". Also the uk economy could tank and it be hard to get a job. < my main concern....shapesalad
    • Try south of France.. some fresh sea air, swimming might be good for your leg, vitamin D for well being and chicks in bikini's to take mind off ex.shapesalad
    • I'm stuck in Jersey, between France and the UK. If I could move tomorrow, it would be to France no question...JerseyRaindog
    • Being a small island I'm always bumping into ex's as well. That shit becomes less & less important as you get older. Your ex shouldnt factor into your decisionJerseyRaindog
    • What Shapesalad said ... get yourself to the South of France ;) The bottom of the west coast is pretty cool too - lots of surfing down Hossegor /Biarritzmicrokorg
    • UK isn't much of an option. This shit storm is getting messy...messier. Why UK? maybe a different area in France. What is your expertise?mugwart
    • Focus on your health. Put her out your mind and try and recover whom you are, this reads as your a bit lost and down trodden upon.mugwart
    • Move to Scotland, tons of jobs in tech for designers/devs. Snow, MTB, IRN Bru, Buckie, hot girls, plus independence on the way :)mrAtor
    • Irn Bru's dead to me since SugarTaxGate :(detritus
    • Of those two choices, the hardest choice is the best decision you should make for yourself. That's how you decide.robotron3k
    • go or stay where your network is. Everything will be shit one day but being lonely is the worst.mekk
    • Read your own text over and over again until you find the answer. I believe, you've written it down already.SimonFFM
    • Us millennials are so scared of decisions. Get rid of everything that ain't working for you mate. Worry later. It'll be okay... daddy's here.robthelad
    • If you really can't decide, toss a coin.Morning_star
    • I like the sound of Scotland but I'm a Southern Fairy!mugwart
    • Try move to a different spot in france? New job - new start? No need to be somewhere if you cant snowboard and won't have to bump into your ex. Best of luck!pedromendez
    • Didn't read all the responses here, but nothing in life is black and white. You have infinite choices. Not just 2. If your move doesn't work out it's ok...nocomply
    • You'll learn and grow through your experience and move again.nocomply
    • Take a vacation. Get out of your frame of mind. Then return and stay for the bounce back.cannonball1978
    • Thanks guys, some great food for thought thereWhiteFace
    • 1. therapy
      2. find a mentor
      3. only you know the answer (meditate)
      4. read all the books n' hang in there.
    • +1 for mentor. I been thinking of getting one as well.mugwart
    • this book is brilliant for getting those answers:
    • -1 for therapy. Sorry, i really dislike that shit. Your social network and family should fill that void. Imho, obv.detritus
    • Thanks mugwart, I’ll add it to my list. Taking a long break from non-fiction these daysnotype
    • yo mug, link inoperable.notype

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