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Out of context: Reply #68074
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- mg335
Those of you who are parents, do Kate Spade and Bourdain's suicides hit you even harder because of the children they leave behind?
I obsess enough over the safety, innocence, emotions, etc. of my two kids already. A lot of that has to do with losing my sister 24 years ago in a car wreck. I was 17. All those emotions of the first big loss in your life are just as heavy so many years later as they were then.
But seeing parents take their lives, and having some understanding of those emotions that come with loss of someone you love, I just can't process it. I can't even process it to the point of thinking the parent was selfish, or cowardly, or cruel, or any of the things people who commit suicide are often called. My mind just goes straight to a child entering an endless loop of "why?" as they try to process death, and especially that someone chose death. That someone had something in their life so powerful and so harmful that it resulted in them creating that kind of sadness by taking their life. I get really sad thinking about it. It makes me (and I fucking hate this) go through this whole routine of imagining my children reacting to loss... what would they do if I died? How would they process it? How would their lives change? How would they deal with it? Feels like someone is standing on my chest and my mind is racing just trying to back away from those thoughts and images.
I think understanding suicide - or trying to - is hard enough without those variables, but damn... even trying to imagine what those children are going through and wanting so desperately to keep my kids safe and innocent and free of loss in their lives as long as possible is overwhelming.
- Of course some events trigger overwhelming feelings, but I'm an advocate of not driving ourselves nuts in anticipation of problems we don't have.spl33nidoru
- You're alive, and when you won't be it won't matter to you how others handle it. Make the most of today, sounds like you care for your kids, that's what mattersspl33nidoru
- This being said, I'm sure Spade and Bourdain cared very much for theirs as well.spl33nidoru
- Yesmonospaced
- Yes.
More so, because I came close to taking my life in 2015.
So any time this happens I reflect on what I would have done.kona - mg33, reading my msgs back i sound like a cunt, obviously i wrote these in a caring way, I understand your feelings and don't take lightly the loss of a sisterspl33nidoru
- Fuck kona, are you serious? Hope you're in other shape now mate...OBBTKN
- Father of two daugthers... I can not imagine the hurt on them, ughOBBTKN
- It's hard to understand addictions. very sad indeed.sea_sea
- Shiet Kona... Stay strong man.
This makes me wonder. If one of us is gone... Would the rest of us know? I have been thinking setting up a dead man switch.pango - It's probably just gonna mail turd and dick butt photo to bunch of people.pango
- I also have and in honesty still am very close to taking my own life. I have a son and adore him, he is my world. When the world drops from you and you thinkmugwart
- how shit your life has been and will continue the same. It is very easy think come to the conclusion that the world around you is better not having you.mugwart