Depressed Girlfriend
Out of context: Reply #26
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- d_rek0
My wife has suffered through bouts of depression ranging from mild to severe since knowing her, which will be 4 years this year.
She takes antidepressants (zoloft, or it's generic) daily to combat what a very real chemical imbalance in her. Without them she is literally a manic depressive trainwreck that is barely capable of functioning in the real world. But on her med she is an amazing, thoughtful, warm, and tender person who is not only my best friend and wife but also an amazing mother to our 2yr old daughter.
Believe me when I say it's incredibly difficult for people who don't suffer the same conditions to understand what they're going through. There is simply no way for you to empathize with her unless you yourself have had a similar chemical imbalance causing you to suffer through bouts of depression.
It's not easy. It never will be.
At times you will be incredibly confused, frustrated, angry, dismissive, apathetic towards her. But it's all part of the territory.
Eventually you will start to recognize distinct triggers and flags for certain types of depressive behavior. This doesn't make it easier to cope with, only easier to understand what's happening. Easier for you to excuse the things she will say and do, all the while thinking there is no excuse. Again you will not understand (even now I do not truly understand it.)
The only advice I can give you is if you love this person then you will not leave them. You will not encourage self destructive thought patterns and behavior. You will encourage them and be positive when they are discourage and at their absolute lowest. It will take a lot of energy and effort emotionally on your part. It is never ending. Trying to stay positive and upbeat becomes almost a full time job.
You will break down.
You will say things to them that are mean and hurtful and will make them cry. You will say the worst possible thing to them at the worst possible time. It will seem unconscionable. You will do it anyway.
It's not easy. This is a big giant rant. But that's kind of how living with someone with clinical depression is like - a big giant emotional rollercoaster.
Or better yet it's like a train. You can see it coming most of the time but you're totally powerless to stop it. You can either go along for the ride or get off that track altogether. The choice is yours.
Do what's right for you.
- Damn, d_rek. Seems you know how to foresee the benefits of long struggle. Thanks for opening up.aliastime
- my respects to you d_rek, it takes great character and a level of maturity to stand by the woman you love.sea_sea
- Wise wordsbabaganush
- +1,000,000 -- well stated!Crack_Junkie