my gf always goes through the history on the laptop!
Out of context: Reply #71
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- shellie0
[Long Post] From a female's point of view, her actions do strike me as fuckin nutbag behavior. The only reason she's doing that is for one of two reasons. Both of which are hard to reverse once she's got her mind set.
1. She's cheating on you. It has manifested by her accusing you of the very same thing she may be doing.
2. She's insecure and she thinks your cheating. Or shes picking up on something that makes her feel like you're doing strange things on the side.
Either way, this doesn't look good for the future of your relationship. It's only going to get worse from here. Trust me the problem will fester and metastasize into other parts of your relationship in different ways. If you don't treat the situation the right way when you seriously approach her about this, she'll still have the same feelings but she'll feel muzzled about it. It will trap her in her feelings or drive her into secrecy. Once a woman feels she can't trust a man, she won't be able to get it out of her head, no matter what (even if he's done nothing wrong).
Parents of children do not need to get married and neither do joint home owners if the relationship has critical problems. Coming from a divorced home, I can tell you it's much better to have to separate and happy parents rather than parents that are together and grow to despise each other. I was much happier when my mom remarried a man she could share mutual feelings on space, privacy, love/affection, and balanced living. Those kind of things are crucial to keeping a relationship healthy and long lasting. It seems small now, but just wait until 15 years from now when she's all up in your everything and has no boundaries whatsoever. Will you let her take your balls like that? At the end of the day, no woman (even if she's the hen pecking type) want a push over husband.
You deserve a fair amount of trust, personal space and privacy. I work together, live together, and share most things with my boyfriend. He does not answer my phone, look through my emails, use my computer, or even go through my purse (If he needs from thing from it, he'll bring me the purse and i'll give it to him). We are not even connected on facebook because he sits next to me most hours of most days. After 6 years, he respects what few personal spaces we've created for ourselves. I just don't think it'll be easy for you to go backwards with your fiance with all the baggage and history you guys have together now. It's easier to just start a relationship and set the boundaries you need to be happy from the beginning and hold to that. But since you have decided to start a life with her, have kids and property, it's worth a shot. It's a pretty serious conversation so don't gloss over it. You have to get through all the emotional static between what you're saying and her comprehension of the issue. Try not to be a dick, but let her know she's being one and your future wife won't get down like that.
But really, these are things you have to iron out well before you ask someone to marry you. She's obviously passive aggressive and a snoop. Once you choose a lifestyle and mate, you can't really go back and complain about character traits you knew about before you got married.
:D