How should I handle this?
Out of context: Reply #66
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- mikotondria30
Wow, man you guys are backed way up.... Are you saying it's really not allowed for someone to date one of their friend's exs?
Fucking get over it - you're not in a relationship with that girl for a reason - it ended. It is no more. That person doesn't then become YOUR ex, she's nothing of yours, you're back to where you started. If you still have feelings, tough - you didn't get what you wanted this time. Other times you've finished it with them and they feel like you.
It's fucking childish and anyone who pulls this is still stuck in the playground. Oh boo hoo, you want to do her, but I still want to - and I saw her first - what a silly little tantrum.
You sound like you know your friend is a bit of a dick to start with - I've never made a friend of someone whom I know treats people badly - men OR women. Someday, his pathological lack of respect was going to be turned towards you - you've only really got yourself to blame for allowing yourself to be within his sphere of influence.
Someone who is nice to you, but not nice to a waiter is not a nice person.
Your 'friend' is a dick, by staying his friend all this time you've given tacit approval to the way he behaves towards women, only it's all been at a distance and there have been no consequences for your for your tacit approval. Well guess what, son - your chickens have come home to roost. Get some new friends, only now - with your new-found insight into human behavior, choose people whom you wouldn't mind if they dated your sister. Jaline got it spot on - you can't compartmentalise who you are - your friends must be people with whom you share common values of respect for others. Guys that treat girls badly have something wrong with them, they have emotional scars that they are endlessly trying to heal by abusing the trusting intimacy of others - I don't think you're like this and you need to spot it in other people before you allow this ignorance into your life.
Let them get on with it, or try to stop it - neither option sounds like it would be particularly enjoyable, but you need to work out exactly what you want from the situation and also realise that you might not get it. Tough, life's short and can be indifferent or even cruel to what you want.
Be the best person you can and things'll start to straighten out.