a note about lewd-conduct signaling
Out of context: Reply #15
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I don't really understand how what he was alleged to have done, admitted to, then retracted, is 'lewd behavior'..
Think about it, you're in the airport stall, you've been backed up since yesterday, endured a 4 hour flight, a 45 minute (extended to 2 hr) layover somewhere, dehydrated on the flight, cramped into the seat, you're virtually busting at the backside when you bundle into the bathrooms, with suitcase in tow - you bring it into the stall, naturally, there isnt room down the side of the toilet, and there's piss on the floor, so finally you plant down and try to coax/control a several foot long sphincter snake out, trying not to push too hard, just a controlled rapid unloading, lots of gas from the compression/decompression on the plane - it kinda leaps out of you and the world suddenly seems a better place, your ears finally pop, and you can look forward to your out of town trip, take a couple of minutes for any trailing debris, blow your nose, possibly pick it. Good. Nice to be here..
Whats this ? !!!
A foot slightly under my side of the stall !??
A finger wagging underneath the partition !!??
Oh my god - no ! That must mean a violently gay guy wants to do me !
How could I be so naive ? How could I have been so distracted that I failed to spot his suitcase placed directly behind the door, the tapping foot - oh it all makes sense now, damn, damn damn, what a fool I've been..
What to do ? What *do* I do ? Oh god...um...uh...
OK - don't panic..
Breathe....[eouh..no, no - don't, actually...].
I could just flush and leave.. I dont have to respond do I ?
Whats the signal for 'no - thanks'.. ? Wave a piece of toilet paper under the stall ?
Cough three times ?
Damn these gay predators, attacking my marriage and adpoting Vietnamese kids in upscale magazines - see what these wacko Liberal judges have done to this country...
Ok, I'll just get up and run..But wait...
Being an average, straight, middle class married guy, I have no idea what the suitcase position, the foot or the finger actually mean..
It's almost as if it's a hidden code, that you wouldn't know about unless you wanted or needed to..
Your run of the mill defacating straight business guy knows nothing of this world, and were they to find out via some tawdry hi-profile non-gay married Senator bathroom gay-signalling scandal, it would probably scar them for life against ever using the vital toilets at the end of their long-haul non-shitting crampathon flights, causing polyps, hemaroids and rectal cancer.
Thanks a bunch, fucked-up gay-hating god-squadding shitfaces, you just busted my ass again without lifting a finger.
Well, maybe just one.