Random Crazy Stories
Out of context: Reply #57
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- rylamar0
So about 7 years ago my friend has this British girlfriend who was kinda snobby but we had to deal with her because he was a super fun guy to hang out with.
Anyway, she calls us one day and says that there is a small tree near her parents pool that they think has caused one of the PVC pipes to bust because it has flooded all around the ground there and they'd like the guys to come dig it up. The first thing I tell her is that maybe her mom needs to not be a cheap ass and call a professional to come dig up her fucking tree and take a look at her pool. Well that ain't happening apparently so the 4 of us and her agree to go over there.
We get there and the fucking ground is sinking in, we're trying to dig up some fucking tree that we shouldn't while her mom annoys the shit out of us the whole time, and we feel like were about to do more damage and we don't wanna be responsible.
Well, my friend Colin stops to sneaze and ends up blowing this 5-6 inch long snot string across his hand. He's just laughing and staring at it, then us, then it. Knowing Colin and his reputation to wipe something like that on the nearest friend I jump away instantly. As I jump away the Brit, in her snobby accent says, "Oh my God, that is disgusting!". Wrong thing to say. Now this is a very proper British girl who hates her boyfriends friends I might add.
So Colin looks at his hand, looks at her, and then pulls his hand back and BAM!!! Slings it at her. It fucking lands on her face from one side of her forehead down across to the other side of her mouth, the whole snot string intact!
Have you ever seen something that immediately made you laugh and shocked you at the same time to where your mouth opens and nothing comes out? That's what happened to me. I just stood there with my mouth open while she looked as if she was melting, mouth agape and no sound coming from her either.
She turns and runs inside and as soon as she's inside we all look at each other, her boyfriend too, and start laughing harder than I have laughed to this day. He started punching Colin while laughing saying, "I have to make it look like I'm pissed".
When she finally came outta garage later after probably bleaching her face the first thing she sees is me laying in the driveway laughing so damn hard. I had tried to leave the yard but I fell in the driveway because my abs hurt so bad I couldn't walk anymore.
God, to this day I still haven't laughed that hard.