Random Crazy Stories
Out of context: Reply #42
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This girl and I were going to pick up some last minute Christmas items for the season a few years back, and I decided I was going to get my brother a stereo but needed to find one that had a tape deck too, since he has a lot of tapes.
So we go to Best Buy and I see one, and just pick it up and start walking away - and as we are talking, I hear, "That is my fucking stereo. You fucking stole my stereo."
To which I immediately start laughing, and turn around to see what kind of rationale human being is yelling at me now.
He then proceeds to yell at the top of his lungs about how he was asking a question to a sales rep, and I just came in while they were talking and took the last one.
I really do not know what to think at this point, because there are tons of people in the store as it is Christmas and this guy is acting like he got raped by the Grinch.
I go, "Look buddy, I don't know what to tell you but maybe there is another one at another store. This is what I wanted to get my brother, so if you want it ... the price just doubled."
I think all he heard was, "Go fuck yourself and swallow prostate milk from an AIDS dick." because the hilarious response was epic.
"WIPE THAT FUCKING SMILE OFF OF YOUR FACE YOU FUCKING LITTLE SHIT! THIS IS AN ENGAGEMENT PRESENT TO MY FIANCE!"
* This is when the girl who I was with ran away to hide behind another aisle.
I fucking lose it. Just lose it. And am going, "If you think this is a good idea for an engagement present, I am doing you a favour buddy, haha!"
Now this guy is about in his 30's, not overtly jacked but next to me I can see why he feels pretty confident (or the simple fact he is just crazy).
He is boiling. Face is turning red, he is kind of shaking - I have seen this countless times in my life, he is going to attack me.
So I figure I might as well get a few more verbal jabs in to make it worth my while by going, "Do you even have electricity in your trailer for this?", "I don't think this store accepts food stamps.", "You should see your face right now it looks uglier than usual."
People at this point have begun to stop and are laughing, and he is just standing there fuming. And I hear, "Jer, seriously I am scared can we please get out of here."
So I say sure thing, happy holidays to everyone and walk to the cash registers. But like holding the stereo in such a way that if I hear him coming for me I can either drop it, or turn and swing with it, haha. No dice (fortunately) as he is now pleading with the Best Buy guy there (who said nothing the entire time except for a few laughs) to get the manager to make me give him the stereo, haha.
Now I thought I was paying attention, but I guess in talking with the people in line, and being in a generally good mood with everyone after that I figured that little tirade was over. Nope.
He is at the door going, "If you even try and put that in your car, I am beating your little skinny ass and taking it."
Not in his usual crazy manner either, but quite matter of factly. Again, I have seen this countless times, and I was wrong before so I start laughing some more and go, "Your fiance wanted a stereo, and all you are going to want for Christmas are your two front teeth if you try and pull a stunt like that buddy."
Where is the girl? She again ran away, this time to my car and is sitting in the passenger seat with it all the way back, hahaha.
So this whole time, the Best Buy staff is just laughing it up, even Security at the door is laughing at the guy. So I walk right by him, tell him where I am parked and what kind of car I have and to think about what would Baby Jesus do in a situation like this.
Nothing happened, I just walked by him and see her in my car with her hands over her face.
I get in the car laughing telling her thanks for the back up and she starts ranting about how everytime we go out something like this happens, and she hates confrontation, yadda yadda yadda.
Short story extremely long - my brother loved it, but it did not even work so I had to take it back anyway, haha.