Break Up
Out of context: Reply #19
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- Prmthn0
Enter response:Funny how...the exact same problem is something I am going through right now. Don’t lie to yourself and say you have accepted things because if you really did then you would have moved on by now and not even giving her the chance of being a friend. How do you expect to be friends after a year long relationship? It just can’t happen man.
If it makes you feel any better let me give you my story. I hooked up with my girl a year ago, she did an internship with my previous company, we met and this girl was mad about me, almost at a point where she worshipped me. The only issue was that we had a long distance thing going on, since her Dad is here in Dubai while she is finishing up her studies in Bombay. The reason we said we are going to make this work is because next year she will be here for good and she used to come down every 2-3 months anyways so it was fantastic and things were working out. We are guys yeah and most of us are hot headed, we take out girlfriends for granted especially when they are the obsessed ones.
Don’t think of it is as a mistake or don’t blame it on all yourself. I know EXACTLY how you feel. Its strange to accept the fact that all of a sudden your girlfriend just switched off.
Back to my point in December my girl had come down and I was in the middle of switching jobs, things were amazingly weird for me, I am still young and I am still learning how to respond to situations. I work as an Art Director at BBDO Dubai and its an amazingly challenging environment, especially when you are young because you are trying to fit in within the big agency atmosphere and you have lot on your mind. I used to come back home and I couldn’t speak to my girl AS MUCH on msn, I always used to be so tired and just wanted to sleep, this is where she should have been understanding. I didn’t see her for 2-3 months she came back finally and I was really happy, I had finally learned how to prioritize my time and I was getting good at my job. My girl was also coming down for 3 months this time (summer vacations) so I thought we would make most of this time. But man...the night she came down, next day we kiss and she tells me “It doesn’t feel the same anymore” I mean WTF! Haha she just switched off. As a typical guy the first thought that came to my mind was there is some other guy, she told me she was emotionally getting attached to some guy back home but she stopped it since it didn’t feel right, she wasn’t physically intimate with the guy at all. Its been 2 months, I saw her everyday and cried everytime I saw her. It came to a point where my girl told me on my face that “I have seen changes in you Humza, and I am so proud of you, I hate to see you hurt and I know I am a bitch for hurting you and I also know the only reason I can make you smile is by being back with you, which I can’t do.” Dude my chick is mentally ill also, that’s the problem with some of younger girls, they have too much on their mind. Its like they are a walking pussycat dolls music video.
I still see her now – we are in this “friends” mood right now haha which is absolutely stupid because she still passes on comments to me saying “wow you look good today, you smell good, I love the way you are doing this and that...” I mean if she treats her “friends” that way then she definitely has issues. Dude its like a fucking a game, If you think she is worth fighting for, be her friend, understand her more because there is soo many things I never knew about my girl but I do now. Yeah she is my ex I know that but I got a heart also and I have tried soo much but I really can’t let go of her. She pisses me of SOO much man but whenever I see her face, its all gone. Sounds really mushy I can’t believe I am typing this out, but its true. If you and your girl are still kissing and holding hands man that is really good, she still loves you. My girlfriend directly tells me on my face “I am out of love, I don’t want to love anyone anymore, whatever I touch ends up getting fucked, I don’t want a relationship ever” but she is just talking nonsense to get attention. Treat her like a child, make your girl smile a lot, take her out, make her respect you. Really put in the effort and understand her and trust me, your phone won’t stop ringing :-)Its very tough to be friends with someone you like so much but just keep on doing what you are doing and trust me her care for you everyday will only get stronger and she will start missing what she had in the past.
ALL my friends ask me to stay away from my girl because they know she hurts me but man she is going through a weird phase, be there for her, help her, respect her because you love her and she deserves it. The reason you missing her soo much right now is because there are qualities in her that no one else has.Learn how to keep a conversation with her also, don’t suck up, tell her if you think what she thinks is not right but give her a logical explanation also about it.
Hope everything works out for you, I am just like you man – I have no friends either because I invested so much time in my girl so the loss is great for us, keep your head up boy.