Courtesy Flush
Out of context: Reply #22
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In college, me and my buddy were boozing before going out for the nite, and I left to go to the bathroom.
I got the brite idea to instead of taking a numero dos in the toilet, to do so in one of the urinals.
So I did.
I said nothing, and just waited.
Later he came back and was like, "Someone shiii .... you fucking shit in teh fucking urinal you sick bastard. There is like a crowd of people talking about it."
He was the only person in on the "joke", haha.
So from that point on, I made it my goal in life to take poo's in the most random places on our floor.
Garbage can was an obvious choice, A shower stall was second which worked out beatuifully because I decided to shower in the one next to it and go to hear, "Whaaa-AAHHH! DUDE HE SHIT IN MY STALL!"
My muffled laughter at the reaction and the "dude" and "my stall" part almost gave it away. I peeked my head out and went, "What the hell are you babbling about ... fuck that is just abso-fucking-lutely disgusting."
And just swung the sheet back.
The "Phantom Shitter" was becoming widely known. No bathroom was safe.
The whole thing about this, was I didn't really care. I had a key to the guest bathroom for girls when they came, so I had a perfectly private place to do what I wanted rite across my room as opposed to walking halfway around the building just to smell my own shit.
Then it hit me. Sabotage myself.
So I did, I took a shit ... in the sink.
The "shit" hit the fan at that point, as I started raising hell.
The R.A. started putting up posters about finding this person and I just kept silently laughing to myself, and whenever my friends would come over they would think it was the grossest thing ever, but at the same time highly high-larious.
One day, all the posters had, "JEROME = PHANTOM SHITTER."
Which was a good guess, Out of the 40-50 people on the floor I was probably the only jerk who would do something like that.
My fun was over as my R.A. (we were pretty good friends, haha), went, "Alrite Jerome, even if it's not you, I know you know who it is ... just get ... them ... to stop it. It's really fucking disgusting."
The Phantom Shitter was never heard from again.
... Plus I ended up getting kicked out shortly after that for something completely different.