"Show Dick Some Respect"

Out of context: Reply #16

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    VERNON
    Well...well. Here we are! I want
    to congradulate you for being on
    time...

    Claire raises her hand.

    CLAIRE
    Excuse me, sir? I think there's
    been a mistake. I know it's
    detention, but...um...I don't think I belong in here...

    Vernon doesn't care. He just continues to talk.

    VERNON
    It is now seven-oh-six. You have exactly eight hours and fifty-four minutes to think about why you're here. To ponder the error of your ways...

    Bender spits into the air and catches the spit in his mouth again.

    Claire looks like she is going to gag.

    VERNON
    ...and you may not talk. You will
    not move from these seats.

    He glances up at Bender and points at him.

    VERNON
    ...and you...

    Vernon pulls the chair out from under Bender's feet.

    VERNON
    ...will not sleep. Alright people,
    we're gonna try something a little different today. We are going to write an essay--of no less than a thousand words--describing to me who you think you are.

    BENDER
    Is this a test?

    Vernon passes out paper and pencils and takes no notice
    of Bender.

    VERNON
    And when I say essay...I mean essay. I do not mean a single word repeated a thousand times. Is that clear Mr. Bender?

    Bender looks up.

    BENDER
    Crystal...

    VERNON
    Good. Maybe you'll learn a little
    something about yourself. Maybe you'll even--decide whether or not you care to return.

    Brian raises his hand and then stands.

    BRIAN
    You know, I can answer that right now sir...That'd be "No", no for me. 'cause...

    VERNON
    Sit down Johnson...

    BRIAN
    Thank you sir...

    He sits.

    VERNON
    My office...

    Vernon points.

    VERNON
    ...is right across that hall. Any
    monkey business is ill-advised...

    He looks around at them.

    VERNON
    ...any questions?

    BENDER
    Yeah...I got a question.

    Vernon looks at him suspiciously.

    BENDER
    Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?

    VERNON
    I'll give you the answer to that
    question, Mr. Bender, next Saturday. Don't mess with the bull young man, you'll get the horns.

    Vernon leaves.

    BENDER
    That man...is a brownie hound...

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