office toaster
Out of context: Reply #32
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- paraselene0
well, bulletfactory, i didn't want to have to explain to such an extent, but in my own defense i feel obliged to elaborate a bit:
there's a sandwich lady who comes around pushing these crack whore sarnies that are guaranteed to make you feel like ass. i'm not sure what she does to them, but they're simply awful.
today, in an effort to discover a new flavour that she was perhaps incapable of corrupting, i chose the smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel.
i quickly realised that the object in question was fucking rank and thought that i might be able to improve upon it by toasing the *completely plain half* of the bagel. note: i did not at any time attempt to put anything other than plain, dry bagel into the toaster.
the plain, dry side of the bagel, however, had at this point spent the better part of the morning flush up against the salmon on the sandwich lady's cart, and had somehow acquired some of the salmon's perfume.
said perfume was augmented when the bagel went into the toaster.
so, you see, for simplicity's sake, i initially stated that i had 'dropped smoked salmon into the toaster.' that, in fact, was a lie.
i apologise.
for everything.