tell me jokes..
Out of context: Reply #226
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- mg330
Here's a good one filled with profanity. I have cleared a room at a party with this.
One Sunday morning, a little boy is playing in the front yard with his firetruck. Pushing it down the sidewalk, making all the siren sounds, etc. He makes his way further down the street, and gets the firetruck stuck in the mud.
No matter how hard he pushes, it only get stuck further.So he says:
"You mother fucker! Get your ass out of the fucking mud! Stop being a piece of shit on me you fucking crap!"The boys screams are overheard by a pastor conducting a sermon in the church across the street. Distracted and offended, the pastor excuses himself and walks out to see the little boy.
"That's some really awful language you're shouting out here. Don't you know that God is always beside you and hears everything you say?"
Boy: "Well this fucking piece of shit fire truck is stuck in the mud. I'm pissed off like hell! I WANT IT OUT OF THE MUD!"
Pastor: "Slow down there, God is beside you and hears everything you say."
"He is? Is he by that tree over there?
Pastor: "Yes, God is by that tree."
Is he sitting on that parkbench?"
Pastor: "Yes, God is sitting on that park bench watching. He's everywhere?"
"Even on my shoulder?"
Pastor: "Yes, even on your shoulder."
"Well what about inside my firetruck?"
Pastor: "Yes, he's even sitting in your firetruck."
Boy: "THEN TELL HIM TO GET THE FUCK OUT AND START PUSHING!"