another reason not to use google

Out of context: Reply #14

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  • Rand0

    A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

    The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

    The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

    The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

    The father says, “I should inform you ahead of time that this is a new dog, so he might not hit all of his marks quite right.“
    The father sets a large metal pot on the floor and takes out three balloons. He hands one to his son, slides one onto the dog’s dick, and slides one onto his own cock. They all three piss into the balloons. The father then ties off all three balloons and starts juggling.
    At this, the mother tears off her skirt, and her daughter’s, then slams her fists into both her son’s and daughter’s assholes. She lifts them off the ground like two giant flesh Popsicles, then crosses her arms while the kids smoothly slip into a 69 as she steps into the pot.
    The dog stands up between the mother’s legs and starts lapping at her cunt, repeatedly sticking his muzzle inside of her before coming out with a bloody tampon. The dog chomps down the bloody tampon then begins lapping at the mother’s bloody cunt. At this, the mother starts squirting and pissing all over the dog and into the pot.
    Suddenly, the kids both fly off of their mother’s hands like rockets, emitting twin sprays of liquid shit that cover all of the performers, except the father, who launches his three piss filled balloons at the group. The balloons break and everything flows into the pot.
    Now the father picks up three torches, lights them, and begins juggling them. As the mother lies down on the floor and spreads her legs, the son picks up the dog and shoves his dick into the dog’s asshole. He then begins fucking his mother with the dog’s dick.
    The daughter kneels down behind her father and starts tonguing his asshole until he shits into her open mouth. She crawls around to the front of her father and starts sucking his cock, with her mouth full of shit. Her father finally blows his load into her mouth and the daughter saucily saunters over to the pot and spits the shit and cum into it.
    As the son continues fucking the dog who’s fucking the mother, the dog throws up all over the mother’s chest. The daughter straddles her mother’s face and begins licking up the blood, piss, shit, vomit, and tampon from her mother’s chest and spitting each mouthful into the pot. When she finishes, she bends down farther, slips the dogs cock into her mouth and sucks off the dog until it cums, and she spits that into the pot as well.
    The son pushes his sister out of the way, tosses the dog across the floor, straddles his mother’s face, reaches down and plucks out her glass eye and starts fucking the socket. After he cums, the mother crawls over to the pot and lets his jizz flow out of her socket into the pot.
    Now the father shoves one of the torch handles up her ass, then sticks the other two into his kids' assholes, before kicking them into position. All three are on their hands and knees with the fiery ends of the torches touching to make one big flame.
    The father picks up three bowling pins and starts juggling them while all of the family members begin to hum “Send in the Clowns.” At the end of the song, the father shoves one of the bowling pins into his ass, and starts beating the dog with other two. He throws the dead dog into the pot and then pisses into the pot. Finally he lifts the pot full of shit, piss, blood, cum, vomit, tampon, and dog and holds it over the flame and proudly yells, “Taa daa!”

    For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

    And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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