Mail Order
Out of context: Reply #15
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- digitalswarm0
Part II
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To all the non-believers, someone pleease show me how to post pics from my
mans computer, i need all of you to know the truth. I want to bring her to
one of these Rub parties or whatever so someone can pour a drink on her and
she'll slap you in the face and then you can fight her. It will be epic.Last friday I go to pick her up in Brighton Beach in my candy-apple red 1978
Chevy El Camino with a photo of Keith Hernandez (nh) dangling from the
rearview. That night she says she's taking me to a club that she likes in
Greenpoint Brooklyn.Oh my god the Polish disco was fucking bananas.
Some dude in the spot tries to sell me Viagra, she drinks a bottle of red
wine and pukes on her snakeskin pants. Amazing. She's dancing with so many
Eastern european snapperheads wearing silk shirts while i'm playing the wall
talking to some dude from Florida trying to sell me stocks. What a dirtbag.
Eventually we bounce. She's blackout drunk and calling me a Jew piece of
shit, i'm in turn calling her a Ukrainian whorebag. It kind of turned me on.
She passes out on my futon and I watch the episode of "Who's the Boss?" when
Sam goes to college and Tony is lonely. Emotional. Wake up the next day and
she's watching tv, chain smoking furiously. The celly rings and it's my
overbearing jewish mother. Apparently we're supposed to have lunch that
afternoon. I decide to twist my parents wigs and bring this bowl of borscht
along. I tell her on the way over that she should just go along with
whatever i say ( i lure her with the ridiculous promise that my parents will
give us lots of money, she seems to like this). We sit down to lunch
together, my parents wondering who this woman is wearing a white bubble coat
and smelling like a dumpster in Minsk, and I announce that I'm getting
married.They went wild. My mom started bugging, asking where we met and whatever. I
tell her we met at a swap meet in California (i was in LA a couple months
ago just wilding out). The Ukrainian goes along with it. Now her and my mom
are going shopping together next week. Shit is getting so wild.-she got her tounge pierced and now wears a green glow-in-the-dark tounge
ring-she took a huge dump last week that made my dog wince
-She has a cousin named Yvgeny who owns a used car lot in Brooklyn.
whaaaaaaaaaaaaat. I'm about to cop some isht.PICS COMING SOOON.
ps- in case anyone was wondering:
1) i haven't banged her yet. I tried to make out with her when i was
blackout drunk and she hit me with her fake louis vuitton bag.2) we started studying for our marriage test two nights ago, and so far i
have found out that she has 8 siblings.