spanish callers
Out of context: Reply #28
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- kingjulien0
I spent some time on Revolucion Avenue in Tijuana when I was in college. Here is what I learned:
1.) If a mob of Mexican dudes surround you at a club at 6:00 am and look menacing, and you and your friend are the only white boys in there (and he's off grinding with some smata), give each one a cigarette and pretend that you're old pals. Just smile a lot and say si to everything.
2.) If you cop passes by on the street, don't make eye contact. This is crucial. Also, keep a few bills hidden in your sock.
3.) If a taxidriver quotes you $25, tell him you know it only costs $5 to get into town but you'll give him $10 if he doesn't stop first at his cousin's tire store.
4.) If a stripper brings you a joint wrapped in tinfoil, make her hit it first.
5.) When walking across the border, the only place to hide the vicodin is in your underwear.
6.) If some 18 year old white boy from San Diego State bumps into you in the bar, don't turn around, as much as you'd like to crush his skull
7.) Nobody really talks about the donkey shows. But if you have to see it, ask the dude who sells paper towels and gum in the bathrooms of the clubs. These guys know everything.
8.) If a girl takes you back to her tent to spend the night, know that her parents are in the tent next to you, and try to
keep the noise to a minimum.
9.) Don't eat anything. Ever.
10.) If you give one 4 year girl a dollar for a pack of chiclets, a pack of runts will surround you before you put your wad of money away. Therefore, although your heart will break when you see these kids out at 3:00 in the morning, just keep walking.