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Last post: 5 days, 11 hours ago | Thread started: Oct 11, 11, 12:50 p.m.

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mg33
One more:
When people say "I've been doing this all my life," or "I've been dreaming about this all my life." especially when they say it like "I've been doing this for [insert age] years."
Yeah, you were doing your job when you were born, or when you were 14?
You were
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Dog-earOct 11, 11, 8:55 p.m. – Permalink
vsplus
The delivery guy who's honking every 5 seconds all the time (ALL THE TIME) on his stupid scooter when he does his delivery.
Wanna punch him.
He seems nice though.
punch him anyway.
in the face.
- ha!
  – cruddlebub
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Dog-earOct 11, 11, 9:04 p.m. – Permalink
cannonball1978
Girls who hiss the letter s
"Oh my god thatssss sssssuper! Ssssso happy for you. SSssSSsssSSsssSSSSSSHUT THE FUCK UP
- HOLY SHIT. THIS!!– monospaced1/2
  Ew, people do that? Ick.– soundsinsilence2/2
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Dog-earOct 11, 11, 9:17 p.m. – Permalink
tOki
People with IT degrees who call themselves web designers.
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Dog-earOct 11, 11, 10:47 p.m. – Permalink
meffid
A woman in Michigan is suing the producers of the critically acclaimed movie ‘Drive’ because she thought it would be like ‘Fast and the Furious’, and it wasn’t, and that really upset her. To the point where she feels the courts need to intervene. Please believe me when I tell you I’m not misrepresenting this story in any way.
If this works she’ll also sue the estate of William Faulkner after reading ‘Sound and the Fury’. “What the fuck, where’s the drifting! If a story doesn’t have people driving smoothly around corners, they can expect to hear from my attorney.”
- http://www.hollywood…– meffid1/3
  That makes me want to smash stuff.– mg332/3
  Hahaha
  I hope they rid the gene pool of her.– Hombre_Lobo3/3
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Dog-earOct 12, 11, 12:03 a.m. – Permalink
ali
People who iron undies
- why?– cruddlebub1/2
  Is this comment missing the word "wear"?– stoplying2/2
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Dog-earOct 12, 11, 12:54 a.m. – Permalink
hans_glib
Parents who let their kids run wild while they sit there with beatific smiles on their faces - "we're so proud - aren't our kids great?"
No they fucking aren't, and you're unfit to be a parent. Take this punch to the face, fuck off and leave us in peace.
- So true.– Hombre_Lobo
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Dog-earOct 12, 11, 1:04 a.m. – Permalink
Fax_Benson
similarly, people in parks who let their crazy simpleton dogs bound up to you and jump all over your clean clothes, and then casually wander over, grinning excitedly under the misguided assumption that you love their dog and couldn't be happier that it's dribbling on your crotch and scratching your legs with it's muddy paws.
"oh, don't mind him, he's ever so friendly once you get to know him"
- yeah, well I'm not. I don't like your dog and I don't like you. And why/how the fuck am I going to get to know him?
And next time you're down at the public swimming pool, I'm bringing my pet shark along. But don't worry, he's really rather good company once you get to know him. He just looks like he's going to bite your face off.
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Dog-earOct 12, 11, 2:33 a.m. – Permalink
Horp
Anyone who starts a new conversatiopn with the word "So...".
Happens on here a lot. Drives me fucking crazy.
"So, I got a new ipad"
Oh fuck off you cock-nosher.
- i just pee'd a little– cruddlebub1/5
  That's not so bad.– monospaced2/5
  I will now be using 'cock-nosher' to describe pretty much everyone.– Al_dizzle3/5
  :( My 3-yr-old son uses "So... how's [person] doing at [whatever they do" as a universal conversation-starter...– gramme4/5
  Also, I love starting sentences with "also."– nb5/5
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Dog-earOct 12, 11, 2:43 a.m. – Permalink
mydo
Today I want to punch the people who decide it's important to have long email disclaimers. And legal departments in general.
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Dog-earOct 12, 11, 3:42 a.m. – Permalink
monospaced
That girl in my office who eats ice all day long.
- ... because she's got tiny tits?– Horp1/4
  how did you know?– monospaced2/4
  Anorexic technique to suppress appetite– animatedgif3/4
  Hahaha, nice triangulation there personwithlonguserna...– Horp4/4
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Dog-earOct 12, 11, 4:06 a.m. – Permalink
gramme
Ball-smash to "Hand-crafted" being applied to every Godforsaken thing.
Judo-chop to people who say "you do you" when someone else does/says something quirky.
Sternum-punch to people who make/babysit Facebook pages for a living.
- Sooo, "You do you?" I've never heard that. or know what it means.– meffid1/2
  It's like "be yourself" or "do your own thing," just douchier.– gramme2/2
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Dog-earOct 12, 11, 8:58 a.m. – Permalink
i_monk
People who say 'different than' instead of 'different from'.
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Dog-earOct 12, 11, 8:59 a.m. – Permalink
gramme
Nepotists. Cronies. Heads of very small businesses who call themselves CEO.
- HAHAHA, love it.– Horp1/6
  BTW your son is excused from the one about starting with "So...". He's three. That makes everything okay in my book. = )– Horp2/6
  :)– gramme3/6
  I have a brother in the Army. My son always starts conversations with me by asking "So, how's uncle B doing at the Army?"– gramme4/6
  He's been obsessed with his uncle since day one. :)– gramme5/6
  or the 15 person company with 4 VPs and a CMO, CEO and CFO?– duhsign6/6
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Dog-earOct 12, 11, 9:04 a.m. – Permalink
spendogg
Today i wanna punch the people who say "I Know, Right" after you say something.
- American girl in my office lets you get four words into a sentence then says "THATS SO INTERESTING", then walks off.– Horp1/3
  off. She's not doing it to be sassy either. She probably doesn't even realise she's doing it.– Horp2/3
  <lol– SunSunSun3/3
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Dog-earOct 12, 11, 9:07 a.m. – Permalink
animatedgif
Anyone who pronounces specific as "persific"
Anyone who says "Do you know what I mean" to punctuate every sentence.
- Or "pacific"– gramme1/3
  and people who say "nuculear"– hans_glib2/3
  or spaghetti as "pusketty." RIP Nana, I love you!– mg333/3
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Dog-earOct 12, 11, 9:21 a.m. – Permalink
WhiteFace
People who say '"make it pop!"
- bammmmm!– utopian
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Dog-earOct 12, 11, 9:46 a.m. – Permalink
scarabin
saying "supposively" instead of "supposedly" and adding extra syllables to a word because you're retarded
like saying "conversate" instead of just "converse"
goddamn that gets me every time
- moments after typing this a coworker said "minimalize"– scarabin
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Dog-earOct 12, 11, 9:52 a.m. – Permalink
scarabin
girls who yell into the phone while cackling at each other instead of just speaking normally, deafening everyone else in the office
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Dog-earOct 12, 11, 9:53 a.m. – Permalink
scarabin
people with breath so bad you can taste it while they're talking to you
- yummy for your tummy– utopian1/5
  yomit for my vomit– scarabin2/5
  brush your tongues people!– scarabin3/5
  Bahaha– gramme4/5
  hey! did you have hummus for dinner last night? I love hummus.– spendogg5/5
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Dog-earOct 12, 11, 9:54 a.m. – Permalink

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