the rapture
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- adumbratesly0
Another sure sign that Canadians are going straight to hell - hockey + nudity = ...
- marychain0
ok supposedly this thing will take 5 months....the world won't be "destroyed" until October...apparently god is going to take his time raturing people...so all this nonsense won't end on Saturday.
I may start punching people before then....
My son is due in September...so I'm to busy thinking about all the awesome times to come.....People need to fuck off with this fairy tale ghost story
- no no no... don't try to change stuff up now, man up.. is going to be INSTANTMiguex
- Do you know how much paperwork is involved in a Rapture? Have a heart, manlocustsloth
- scarabin0
just one more nail in the credibility of the plague on man that is christianity
- TheMagicSheep0
^^ "It's the anniversary of Noah's Flood: A great deal of effort has been made by biblical literalists over the years to identify the exact chronology of the events dictated in the Old Testament. Some scholars, including Camping, adhere to the theory that the Biblical Flood took place on May 21 in the year 4,990 B.C. Then, in Genesis, God told Noah seven days before the Flood to warn people of the impending cataclysm. And Camping posits that this figure, seven days, holds greater significance than meets the eye. According to the biblical passage 2 Peter 3:8, "one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day." Therefore, argues Camping, Rapture should occur 7,000 years after the Flood. And the 7,000th anniversary of the biblical deluge, by his math, falls on May 21, 2011.
It's the anniversary of Creation ... sort of: Another piece of evidence — explained by Family Radio affiliate eBibleFellowship — suggests that the world began in 11,013 B.C., and its 13,000th anniversary came and went in 1988. During that year, apparently on May 21, the end of the "church age" came to pass. Then, a 23-year time of "tribulation" began, during which Satan claimed dominion over all the world's churches. (Camping also supports this notion. He claims that the number "23" — far from just being a poorly received Jim Carrey film — also represents "destruction" in biblical symbology.) The end of this particular period of cosmological strife is said to fall on May 21, 2011.
Divine Numerology: This elaborate line of reasoning first argues that Jesus Christ was killed on April 1 in the year 33 A.D. Using that date, the crucifixion would have occurred exactly 1,978 years and 51 days — or 722,500 days — before May 21, 2011. It turns out that 722,500 is also the product of an equation — (5 x 10 x 17)^2 — that includes three different numbers of significance, according to Camping. Five means "atonement." Ten indicates "completeness. "And 17 signifies "heaven." Thus: Armageddon."
- wagshaft0
Same guy predicted a rapture 1994. Turned out it was only a MLB strike.
- marychain0
So what bullshit are these idiots misinterpreting exactly?
What's the passage? I highly doubt anything says May 21st 2011
- You know what...fuck it
I'm not gonna read it anywaymarychain - exactlymonospaced
- it's a gimickdbloc
- You know what...fuck it
- dbloc0
the robots will live on....
- fooler0
ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sunroof during an incident best described as a "mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye-witnesses.
Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile-up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman, who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she believed was Jesus.
"She started screaming `He's back! He's back!' and climbed out through the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene.
"I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams said. "She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say.
"This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force," said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene.
Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was on his way to a toga costume party, when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow-up sex dolls filled with helium, which then floated up into the sky.
Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration and said "Come back," just as the Williams' car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into heaven as they drove by him.
"I think my wife loved Jesus more than she loved me," the widower said when asked why his wife would do such a thing.
When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen."
- ukit0
http://cosmiclog.msnbc.msn.com/_…
"I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven of afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people who are afraid of the dark."
- usrper0
- geeez look at the neck hole on that shirt!
http://www.texasmusi…Miguex - u-neck shirt. ew.kona
- is that what this is called? u-neck? hahahahahahaMiguex
- geeez look at the neck hole on that shirt!
- i_monk0
I'm going to be in the Caymans, so it's convenient that I'll have my passport handy.
- ETM0
Well, the rapture is on the long weekend here. We already have rain in the forecast and an existing provincial wide fireban due to wildfires literally burning down half a town in N. Alberta. So camping will suck. Really, the rapture is all I have to look forward to this weekend.
- monospaced0
The evangelical crazies are in full force in Grand Central. This morning I stopped and asked one of them (rhetorically) if she really believed this stuff. Of course she replied "yes." My next question absolutely stumped her though: "Then why aren't you doing something better with your time than standing in the train station trying to warn us?"
- GeorgesII0
For years I've been eyeing my local church building,
I want to transform it in discoteque,
as soon as the raptured are gone,I'm moving the fuck in!
- fuck yea, we'll have an after rapture partyset
- call it "The Rapture Delight"ApeRobot
- how fucking awesome would it be if all those religious freaks were actually taken? We'd finally make progressmonospaced
- Nah. That Devil guy would be around more fucking things up.ETM
- set0
- bulletfactory0
I am enraptured by this thread.
- All this stress about the end of the world is going to rapture my spleenset
- ha!bulletfactory