Best Man Speech Help!
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- autoflavour0
talk about random things like installing kitchens, office furniture and venereal diseases
- Juanmonk0
My cuz did a good one a few weeks ago, started off by saying ... "FORNICATION" very loudly, coughed, apologised and said, "For an occasion ... such as marriage ... " Went down well, everybody laughed. For an initial opener, it was a good ice breaker.
- Dunmare0
Throw in a few witty one-liners:
Whoever said marriage is a 50/50 affair, either knows little about marriage or little about fractions".
http://www.BestManApp.com/
- Jaline0
I'm glad my wedding won't have these lame speeches. If I do have someone saying something, I will make sure they are at ease with speaking with others and is funny. Otherwise, who cares...
- 5timuli0
Being a best man is a lot like shagging the Queen - the privilege far outweighs the pleasure.
- springbok0
Cheers guys thanks for all your suggestions, its a great start for me!
- flavorful0
"For those that don't know me I'm going to be the guy looking to rail all you single biddies who are pawing to get married tonite. I mean look at me, I have a microphone and a drink in my hand and a tux. I probably look to be about the most successful person you've ever seen in you're entire life. I have Dracula on speed dial for Christ's sake. That's right Dracula. He asked me to be his best man at his wedding but I said no. I said fucking no!!! Why? Because this guy right here, this fucking guy ... he's the best man I only wish I could be. GIve me some sugar! No not you, your wife. Get away from me ... hey, real funny, turn the mic back on. LISTEN YOU UNGRATEFUL FUCKS I'M LOUDER THAN ALL OF YOU! JESSICA? IS THAT JESSICA SITTING OVER THERE WEHRE ARE YOU GOING? COME BACK!! SOMEONE CALL DRACULA!!!! SOMEONE FIND MY PHONE AND HIT 4 AND THEN TALK!!! DON'T BOTHER YELLING DRACULA IN THE PHONE IT ONLYWORKS WITH MY VOICE!"
- mg330
Tell everyone "He's getting a real good girl, and I know from experience. With her. Yeah. Yeah!"
- CALLES0
"remember that time when you showed me the the picture of her naked and i told you:
"can you imagine if one day you marry that whore?"
and wait for the silence
By the way you have to be moderately wasted
- mg330
I think it would be perfect to recall some of his childhood exploits as follows:
I was jealous of the guy for the awesome wheelies he could ride, from one end of town to the other.
- epigraph0
hey! Is this thing on!?
- iamtuff0
"Hear Ye, Hear Ye. Can Ya'll hear me?"
- CALLES0
i did it.. keep it real... sweet short and dont forget to doa quick mention to all the work both parents have put in to get to this very moment in their kids life's
- epigraph0
If you can't pull off a funny speech don't even try. Nothing is worse than some insecure schmuck throwing out cliche one-liners It's better to give a speech from the heart that no one will remember.
- boobs0
Just imagine what Don Rickles would do in the same situation, and do that.