Best Man Speech Help!
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- springbok
does anyone know of any good sites to help with writing it? or send me anything to help?
Cheers
- Dr_Rand0
you poor motherfucker
- neue75_bold0
"True love is the soul’s recognition of its counterpoint in another."
- match.com?Dr_Rand
- wedding crashersneue75_bold
- worse, the wedding crashersspl33nidoru
- dammit!spl33nidoru
- how dare you? that was a brilliant movie...neue75_bold
- ok my bad, i did enjoy it..spl33nidoru
- Rule#23 – You're an assneue75_bold
- tell me something I don't knowDr_Rand
- that's actually #115
http://www.youtube.c…
spl33nidoru - "it's like fishing with dynamite- it's not even fair..."madirish
- wedding crashers
woohoo!!!!liveforever
- Milky_joe0
Traditionally the best man speech should last exactly the same time as the first time the new couples first love making, thank you for listening.
I was a bit worried about doing this speach as I thought I would make a real mess of it but last night I slept like a baby, I woke up in cold sweats every five minutes crying uncontrollably.
I was told by his wife not to read out any names of his previouse loves (throw away a small piece of paper obviously) but she didn't mention that I couldn't read out his full on gay loves start unfolding a massive massive ream of paper.
- Dr_Rand0
brothers and sisters...
- flavorful0
Whoo!! Wow! Wow, what an act to follow, huh? That girl's got more problems than a math book! Yikes! Haha! Howdy, folks! My name's Ed Mahoney, I want to give a speech about my best PAL, here! Now, I've known this ol' sack o' potatoes here for 22 years! Though I've only liked him for the last nine! HAHA! No, I'm kiddin', I'm kiddin'! Well... not really! Not really, no. The guy was a real DICK in high school! He knows as well as anybody!
Like, anyway -- when Billy asked me to be his best man, I thought LONG and HARD about it! And, as some of you ladies out there know, my THOUGHTS are the only thing long and hard about me! HAHA! No, I'm kiddin', I'm kiddin'! It's my thoughts and my CRAPS! HAHAHA! Oh, boy! Look at Ali's face! Oh, man, she hates it when I work below the belt! God bless her! Lord knows he did in the body department! Holy moly, huh?! What a figure on this one -- Jiminy Christmas! She looks like she was sculpted out of marble by a SEX MANIAC! Haha! Well, she met her match with ol' Billy here! This guy's laid more pipe than the Mario Brothers! HAHA! Although, they've probably eaten the same amount of mushrooms! Yeah! Hey -- quick mushroom story for ya': look, Billy and I were once so high, we got in a fistfight with a bowl of M&Ms! Haha! Yeah, and then we french-kissed for an hour! * turns to look at Ali * Oh, boy!! Now I've done it!! Look at that! Look at Ali's face! Poop, drugs, and gay stuff -- every bride's dream, right?! HAHA!!
Look, folks -- marriage is about honesty! You know what else marriage is about? Lying your BALLS off! Yeah! You know what else it's about? It's about playing STUPID for each other! Like, do I really think my wife believes me when I tell her I think about her when I masturbate?! What the HELL am I talking about?!!
Oh, my goodness! Guys! I gotta be honest with ya' -- I've segue-wayed into an area I could NOT have anticipated! Yeah! And I'm beginning to second-guess that pint of Jack Daniels and shot of beer I drank as a switcheroo! So, let's see if I can wrap this up! * he raises his glass * A toast! A toast to Billy and Ali! Now, there's a sad statistic going around that says that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Well, the other 50%... end in death. * he snods solemnly * Yeah. I hope you two DIE!
Good luck, goofballs! D.J., work your magic!
- fyoucher10
uh oh, good luck. I choked real bad on my bro's best man speech. My advice: keep it REAL short and sweet...don't try too hard to remember it, just be natural.
- flavorful0
My one friend's brother got choked up in that waiting room or whatever and swore he couldn't give a speech during the party or whatever.
So I walked over and went, "Yo, I have no problem whatsoever getting up there and saying something. In fact just in case I was thinking of a speech earlier."
Suddenly his fear of talking in front of people left, and he was just afraid of what I would have said and in turn ruining the wedding.
Almost probably on par with above.
WHAT THE HELL AM I TALKING ABOUT?!
- are you drunk already?madirish
- Are you drunk already?flavorful
- GIVE ME ANOTHER BEER I'M 21!! YOU CAN'T DECIDE THAT I'M DRUNK!! THAT'S BETWEEN ME AND G-D!!!flavorful
- G-D DECIDES THAT ONE BUDDY BOY!!! YOU CAN'T JUST ... YOU CAN'T JUST DECIDE THAT I'M DRUNK!!!flavorful
- i would never let a friend drink alone...madirish
- Hhaa, I can't either. But with AIM and QBN ... one never really is ever drinking alone.flavorful
- Actually, I'm at work and not even close to drinking. I feel awful because of it.flavorful
- Milky_joe0
Seriously though the main thing is don't worry everyone will be pissed whatever you say will be good, just make sure you don't shite your kecks.
- Dr_Rand0
I choked at my dad's memorial service
- de4k0
do some slideshow/photo thing etc.
it felt much better knowing everyone wasn't just staring at me.oh and I finished with this...
I talked about my brother's honeymoon; an over elaborate US road trip, I went into detail.
I then said that contrary to this my bro has given me the distinct impression that they were spending it in North Wales....*confused bride
*timely pauseAt least that's what I thought when he said he was going to Bangor all week.
went down a storm.
toast the happy couple.
get slaughtered.
- Dr_Rand0
is this thing on?
- mattiaBK0
Just don't to it!
- Glitterati_Duane0
Just get drunk and be real
- lol
cosmicEntity - Shit it worked for my pops at my wedding lolGlitterati_Duane
- lol
- boobs0
Just imagine what Don Rickles would do in the same situation, and do that.
- epigraph0
If you can't pull off a funny speech don't even try. Nothing is worse than some insecure schmuck throwing out cliche one-liners It's better to give a speech from the heart that no one will remember.
- CALLES0
i did it.. keep it real... sweet short and dont forget to doa quick mention to all the work both parents have put in to get to this very moment in their kids life's
- iamtuff0
"Hear Ye, Hear Ye. Can Ya'll hear me?"
- epigraph0
hey! Is this thing on!?