Parental issues again
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- Jaline
What do you think I could do to stop my parents from continually treating me like a child?
(Today I wanted to have a serious discussion with them today about going to Toronto for ONE DAY with my friends, and they refused because I may "die in a car accident like Princess Diana did". WTF??? And then, while I was asking them to be fair and give me a GOOD reason, they decided to watch television and ignore me).
What I hate the most about myself is that I am too forgiving and in a few days I will be back to friendly terms with them. I don't want this anymore.
I know I'll get some crazy answers from you folks and I realize there is a thread called 'blog' for this, but I need something to stop me from slitting my wrists.
- studderine0
sounds like you need to move out.
- _salisae_0
jaline! don't ever say things like that.
sounds like they're being quite lazy .. they don't want to deal with the hassel of you being out of routine and they're not even available to consider your interests ..
i guess nothing will help for this go around but next time i'd just state your plans
- Seff0
yup,
get some roomates and start your life away from home..
can;t get much more growd up then that
- Jaline0
Eh, it's a cultural thing. I always wanted to move out, but I'll be disowned or something...
- Jaline0
i guess nothing will help for this go around but next time i'd just state your plans
_salisae_
(Sep 27 06, 18:28)see....I told them weeks ahead of time so that they couldn't have any way to make up excuses so that I can't go. Since they don't have any real excuses, in the end they just said 'NO'.
- Rand0
jesus families are a mess
- Seff0
no you wont, you are in college right? 20 or something?
it is the way college kids live
- Seff0
when did your daughter move out rand?
- Jaline0
Yes, most of my friends have moved out, but my parents are different. And it does cut my tuition in half. I just have to learn to live with them....or something.
- blaw0
no offense to my folks, but i couldn't wait to move the hell out. sounds like you're at that same point.
of course, i liked it so much i moved out three times, but whatever.
good luck.
- mrpt0
I hate to break it to you Jaline but you'll never win if your living with you parental units. They own you until you move out....its in the fine print :P
- restlessdesign0
i'm with you blaw. i'm happier doing my own thing and taking care of myself and can't wait to get out of college and go 100% on my own. just need to figure out where i'll be working...
- Seff0
or you could become a tweaker
see how long you are welcome in the home, nt social experiment
- studderine0
they'll disown you? sounds like your parents need to take whatever cultural/trad. bullshit and eat it. you are in college (as am i). i got a job, moved out. they may not like it, but at least you will be able to do what you want to do.
- Point50
yea, if your parents disown you for moving out, then they have issues, not you.
personally, if I were you I'd just go on the trip. why are you asking permission anyway? just grab your packed bag and walk out the door. say "see you in 36 hours or something or leave a note on the fridge. what are they gonna do, ground you? pfffft...
- mrpt0
There's no need to argue Parents Just Don't Understand!
- Seff0
speed up your life thirty years when your kids ask you how was college mom?
and you say the view was sweet from your grandparents living room. meh.
your parents need to loosen up
- mayo0
Hi Jaline, i can totally relate to the "it's a cultural thing" issue. Just try to be firm and calm about it. If you get upset, they'll just see it as proof that they need to keep their eye on you.
And please don't say that you'll do such horrible things, even if it's just said as venting frustration.
*hug*
- dopepope0
woaw now, even if it's just a figure of speech, 'slitting your wrists' is not an option. Especially over this. I'm not belittling your situation, but getting suicidal over it is ridiculous. Stop that kind of thinking immediately.
- kingjulien0
Jaline, you scare me when you talk about slitting your wrists.
Parenting is a fucked up job. I'm sure in their minds they're worried sick about you, so even though the logic is warped and archaic, it probably comes from a place of love, which is more than some of us can say about our parents.
With that said, I'd tell them you're going. You've given proper notice, you're not lying, you're not using this as an excuse to use drugs and have dirty sex (right?), and at the end of the day, they'll get over it.
Sometimes you have to grab hold of the leverage, even when you think the other side has all the power. At first they'll be shocked, then probably angry. But they won't disown you, and if they do over something petty and inconsequential like this, well, at least you know where they stand, and can then prepare yourself for this world alone, which when it comes down to it is what we need to do at some point anyway.
We're born naked and alone in this world, and that's how we're going to leave. Might as well try and enjoy things in the meantime.