Maxim.
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- gramme0
growse
- flavorful0
Haha thanks kOna, just remember "big pause", and you have them too boot to add to the joke, haha.
---
Here's another "bear" joke, that is nowhere near as classic as the Polar Bear Joke, however, why not write this one down too.
---So a Panda Bear walks into a pub, and sits at the bar. It's a nice pub, kind of classy and even has someone playing piano in the background.
So the barkeep puts a coaster down and goes, "Hey Panda Bear, what'd you have this evening?"
Panda Bear responded, "No drinking tonite my good man, however, I would like some chips."
Barkeep says sure thing, comes back a little later with the chips, the Panda eats them while enjoying the ambience and asks for the check.
After leaving a hefty tip on just chips, the Panda Bear thanks the barkeep and heads for the door, but before leaving he turns to the man playing the piano and pulls out a gun and shoots him dead.
The music has obvioulsy stopped, and everyone is in shock.
The barkeep in horror exclaims, "Panda Bear!? Why in the world did you shoot my Piano Man?!"
The Panda blows the smoke from the gun and simply says, "I'm a Panda, look it up", and exits stage left.
Still in shock, the barkeep frantically looks for a phone to call the police, however, he eyes a dictionary in the process and looks up Panda Bear, the people at the bar crowd around as he puts his finger under the definition as says aloud,
"Panda Bear: Eat chutes and leaves."
- HumanMale0
It's like watching your child get raped.
flavorful
(Aug 18 06, 06:39)
----------------------Bit of a harsh analogy don't you think?
You obviously don't have children.
- lvl_130
craptastic
- TheBlueOne0
Isn't it "shoots" and not "chutes"?
- flavorful0
AYE!!!
This is why most of my jokes only work when I tell them aloud (well... as much as they could "work" in the first place I guess, haha).
From Wikipedia:
The giant panda eats shoots and leaves, living almost entirely on bamboo.
- flavorful0
Actually makes it better textually.
- TheBlueOne0
I heard the same joke years back, but it was about a Panda giving oral sex to a prostitue and leaves without paying. As she starts to bitch, he throws a dicyionatry at her and says "Look it up honey.." and walks out the door..whereupon the hooker looks up Panda and it says "Eats bush and leaves."
- paraselene0
that's the best joke so far, for sure.
- mr_snuggles0
haha, I get it, long baws....hah, long baws!
- paraselene0
also it doesn't work if you say LONG you have to say BIG!
fucking hacks.
:E
- uberdesigner_0
that magazine is for unadventurous highschoolers
- flavorful0
Oh man, my head is going to fucking explode noticing they wrote "long pause".
WHAT THE FUCK!?!
- harlequino0
My guess for an explanation:
1. Count the Coke® ads in Maxim.
2. Polar bear...Polar baverages...see where I'm going??
I can picture the joke though.
Fu
nny!
- jamble0
I don't know why you're that worried, it's hardly "your" joke is it?
- Sven_sk0
maxim is quite possibly one of the dumbest magazines in existence.
- flavorful0
I don't know why you're that worried, it's hardly "your" joke is it?
jamble
(Aug 18 06, 06:30)That should have read "my favourite".
I tell this joke all the time.
It's like watching your child get raped.
- Sven_sk0
It's like watching your child get raped.
flavorful
(Aug 18 06, 06:39)kinky. you re a sick bastard.