a man in tescos
- Started
- Last post
- 15 Responses
- set
Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping
This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :
Dear Mrs. Murray,
Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your
Husband stops his antics.Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... And watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calorgas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
8.. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.
10. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.
11.November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.
12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled' PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
13. November 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
And; last, but not least:
14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'
- set0
Doubt its real but a few are quite humerous
- GeorgesII0
Tyler Durden LIVES
- lowimpakt0
IT'S FACKING "TESCO" NOT FACKING "TESCOS"
IT'S FACKING "LIDL" NOT FACKING "LIDLS"
YOU'RE NOT FACKING "GOING OVER TO LIDLS" YOU'RE 'GOING OVER TO LIDL' YOU FACKING CAAAANT.
- If you have a friend called Dave, and you going over to his house.. are you 'going over to dave' ? CUNT.set
- Tesco isn't a person you dense fuckwitBIGGESTDOGINTHEWORLD
- if you're going to the Next you say, I'm going to Next not Next's or HMV's or Virgin's etc etc :)lowimpakt
- lol you go to Nextgjd
- true.. i was just defending my stupidity, you see.set
- i don't go to Next. Set does. people that say "tescos" shop in Next.lowimpakt
- I camp outside the night before a next saleset
- jazmine0
that reads like a david letterman top ten list (with extras) that didn't make it.
- scarabin0
this was going around here as "wal-mart" in '05
- MSL0
- baseline_shift0
security cameras generally dont record audio
- set0
Bump so you can read my notes you wankers
- wasnt worth the read you silly cuntbaseline_shift
- I already called you a silly cunt, calling me it back is just not the way its done. Be original.set
- set0
Now, I'm just of the my mate Dave to drink a few of his beer with a bunch of friend.
- BIGGESTDOGINTHEWORLD0
_
BORING FAKE SHIT, this is the sort of shit peoples Dads forward to each other.
- Projectile0
fake? definitely. Boring? HELLS no! it made me laugh quite a few times actually! haha #13 is the funniest shit i've ever seen!!!
- formula0
#10 is pretty good actually.