Dates
- Started
- Last post
- 21 Responses
- ********
Look, I've mentioned dates in a couple of threads now and the response has been negligiable. I just think you could do much worse than eating dates. If you have a sweet tooth and you're a bit overweight, then stop eating sweets you fat fucking porkball and start eating dates.
The sugars are natural, the calories are minimal and they're 99% fibre so they actually help you expel.
Lets here it for the date. Natures own confection. You fat knacker.
- 7point340
Datesoled
- by god i am fucking clever!7point34
- *admires own self-worth7point34
- roger rogerTheBlueOne
- ********0
So you eat fat girls when you go out with them?
I am confused.
- robco0
is a prune a date? or is a date always from a fig or something?
- e-pill0
hey flav...
- ********0
I think the medical term for expel is void, Orbit. Otherwise an excellent post. You should look into mastication. Fascinating subject.
- ********0
manky as fuck. dates are.
- ********0
Dates are dates. Period.
Prunes are partly dried figs or something, but dates are just dates.
- juhls0
I think I may have tried this once. I think. Oh well.
- What?
Its a fruit. You've either eaten one or not, you can't 'try this', its not an activity.******** - tried it, you semantic freak!juhls
- How are you, by the way?juhls
- non committal, even on the subject of fruit. you have a special talent lady.********
- Shut it, I said I would marry your web sites. Is that committing or what? I narrowed it down to one person at least.juhls
- Yes I'm good thanks!********
- What?
- ********0
tell you what though, dates have got fuck all on figs.
the mutual reliance fig trees and fig wasps have on each other, simply to exist is mental. scary mental. it's a bit like, fuck you darwin, work that one out. god.
- Mybookfacepage0
I gave up dating for lent
- TheBlueOne0
Dates are like raisins older, uglier, fatter sisters.
- 7point340
prunes are dried plums and they are simply awesome
fuck all this noise about dates.
- e-pill0
to land the perfect date... you must follow flavorful's 10 steps listed below.
________________________________..."Most of these techniques I use, you have to have some sort of moral flexibility, and also be willing to not have any type of feelings for anyone else but yourself or they will not work."
flavorful
(Sep 13 07, 17:10)
--
01. Tell all of your friends (guys) under 5’10’’ to fuck off and die. They are not worth having as friends (there are exceptions, some exceptions, but very few). Presence anywhere is everything. If you look like you are hanging out in Munchkin Land, you might as well be talking and dancing like you represent the Lollipop Guild.02. Also, always look like you are having the time of your life (even if you are not), because everyone wants to have the time of their lives so you should convince them by having them convince themselves that by hanging out with you, the distinct possibility of having fun are very real.
03. Dress completely different than everyone else you are with. If all your friends are wearing dress shirts and the like, wear a t-shirt. If your friends are all wearing hoodies, rock a tie. Stand out. Always look like you either take your look incredibly serious, or not at all. Both ends of the spectrum are fine, the middle ground is not.
04. Have almost unattainable standards. Personally, I would rather be alone one nite/weekend then talk to a girl I would ever regret. I joke that I only talk to girls thare are 8, 9 or 10’s on my 1-10 scale. And that an 8 on my scale would be a 14 on anyone else’s. (This also works well because then you can make fun of your friends relentlessly and forever about some of the girls they hook up with, because they can not do the same to you.) P.S. See #8.
05. If afterwards you find that a girl has hotter friends, do not drop her like a bad habit (remember she is still going to be great looking) but behind her back do whatever you can until you run that well dry. Afterwards you are in a very unique position (which more than likely ends horribly ... for them, but sometimes it ends fantastically for you as well [worth the gamble in my book]).
06. Act like you are better than everyone else. I can not stress this enough. Make fun of everyone that is not you, or the person you are talking to. This works in three ways: First, it shows you have a sense of humour (oh yea mask it with humour, mask everything with humour, haha), Secondly, it shows that you only surround yourself with people you feel are in a certain kind of upper echelon, Thirdly, you can tell rite away what type of person she is and how much time you should spend on her (if you even have that choice after some of your comments).
07. If girls want the rite to vote, and be treated as equals in the work place ... they should not expect to have their drinks paid for. Never pay for anyone’s drinks unless you know for sure the favour will be returned. I met girls that were notorious for forgetting their purses in their car, or at the girlfriends house - this is just a ploy (and easily noticed). The first thing you do at that point is forget about them and then laugh later at some other sucker. Also it shows that they do in fact have money, and nine times out of ten do something for income.
08. If you find out later on that the girl was fat in grade/high school, or that they had any work done ... they are dead to you. Always think about the fact that you may end up having kids with them for better or worse. If you are going to hook up, only hook up with the opposite sex that would provide a great looking son/daughter. I have even told some girls that the only reason I talked to them was because they looked like they could hold their own in photos with me. You think that would not work? By all accounts it should not, but it is though ass-backwards compliments that for some unknown reason works (also do it with humour, then they do not know if you are kidding or not because seriously who would want to ever be with someone that narcissitic?)
09. Set goals. Set goals. Set goals. This whole, when you least expect it it falls in your lap shit is for suckers. You should have a best friend who you can trust with your life, to spur you on and challenge you. Healthy competition is great competition. Make goals for the year, the season and the month.
10. This may sound the cheesiest, but girls with boyfriends are fantastic. For one, someone else in the world thinks highly enough of them to date them singularly, so that is some brownie points. And behind every girl, is some guy tired of railing her.
***
My cousin (see #9) added this after reading this, and I think it can go in with #2, haha:
At any point in the night someone might be noticing you, so make sure that you don’t make a face you don’t want anyone who might be noticing you to notice.flavorful
(Sep 13 07, 17:12)- haha i remember thisMybookfacepage
- I only read "favour" and noticed that he spelled it with a "u". And I approve of everything else based on that.juhls
- write another one for getting ahead at work - dealing w/ boss, getting a raise, etc.robco
- ********0
Here's something to put you off your figs skt
- That's anti-fig propaganda!TheBlueOne
- oh you knew that already. beast.********
- Mybookfacepage0
Bacon Wrapped Dates Stuffed With Blue Cheese
* 1 pound sliced bacon, cut in half
* 1 pound pitted dates
* 4 ounces blue cheeseDIRECTIONS
1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
2. Slice dates in half, and open them up. Pinch off pieces of blue cheese, and place them into the center of the dates. Close the halves of the dates, and wrap a half-slice of bacon around the outside. Secure each one with a toothpick. Arrange in a baking dish or on a baking sheet with sides to catch any grease.
3. Bake for 30 to 40 minutes in the preheated oven, or until the bacon is crisp. Turn dates over after the first 20 minutes for even cooking.- there! be friends!Mybookfacepage
- it looks like bees********
- yes i was going to say the same thing it looks like insects, i guess following it after the pic above...e-pill
- ...is a no noe-pill
- ********0
^ Those are delicious I have made them before.
I also love a Morrocan Tagine of slow roasted lamb with roasted dates and all the trimmings OH MY GOD OH MY GOD THAT IS THE BEST
- ********0
I'm going to bed now, but don't forget to eat some dates.
- 7point340
i'm going on a date now, but don't forget to eat some bread
- God advice. I like bread. I often just eat a slice dry.********
- it built civilizationsscarabin_net
- God advice. I like bread. I often just eat a slice dry.
- raf0
Dried dates have just about the highest glycemic index of all fruits.
It's almost like eating sugar.
- chossy0
Hey guys eat dates they are sweet and they help you drop your guts yo!.
Is this the kind of strap line you would like to read?.