Is this bloke serious?
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- SkyPoo
excerpt from:
http://www.ecoenquirer.com/polar…
"Warming temperatures in polar regions are causing an increasing number of polar bears to collapse from heat exhaustion, local hunters report.
Jeremiah Johnson, a local hunter who tracks and kills polar bears.... has seen three collapse before him in just the last month. "It just isn't sporting to shoot one of these creatures when they are suffering like this", Johnson said, as he RECOUNTED HIS ATTEMPTS TO REVIVE A BEAR HE WAS READY TO SHOOT".WHAT?
I'm just... its.... WHAT?
Is that compassion on his part? He's going to revive it, get it back on its feet again... AND THEN SHOOT IT?
I just... this ... its....its a whole tangle of paradoxical weirdness.
- janne760
it's almost like life itself..
- Jaline0
That is weird. Compassion, or perhaps, he's sick and likes teasing animals. Maybe he's a bad hunter. Or maybe he thinks his rival has to be at full strength in order to "honourably" fight him.
First world problems :)
- yeah in the 3rd world, animals are sacred source of life and well being. dumb 1st world.MakeBelieve
- drgss0
it was me
- stem0
- boobs0
Jeremiah Johnson? That must be a fucking joke.
- janne760
^ hahaha
"There is speculation that hand-reared Knut killed the carp just for fun."
Yeah explain that to your kids, you crying over-empathetic germans, who for months and months have been projecting cultured human visions of love and innocence on the little bear!
- SkyPoo0
"Come on big fella, don't die like this, Not like this... come on, drink this water... you have to drink something... you can do it... oh god... come on.... please don't die like this.... that's it, that's it, drink, DRINK, YES... He's... HE'S GOING TO MAKE IT!!!, HE'S GOING TO PULL THROUGH... ITS GONNA BE OKAY... Come on Big fella, you're a fighter, come on... now eat this fish, I've chewed it for you... got to get soemthing inside you, for strength.... that's it, now come on, up on your feet, that's it... I'm so proud of you, that's it, you can do it, you are strong my friend, you can pull through, and I can help you... that's it, look... you're back on your feet, its a miracle... now, take a step, come on, take a step, that's it... THATS IT!!!! YOU CAN DO IT BIG FELLA!!! THATS IT... now, RUN MY FRIEND, that's it, not too quickly now, I just need to... okay... and....."
BLAM.
"Got him".
- neue75_bold0
kick him in the nads and when he hops up clock his furry ass...
- like a real man would...neue75_bold
- "cock his furry ass"?
Oh wait, my mistake.SkyPoo - that's how we were raised in Canada to handle these things...neue75_bold
- what the spook said..neue75_bold
- Khurram0
Ah c'mon, if you are gonna kill a bear with a laser sited precision guided sniper scoped rifle from 400 feet away with a 0.50calibre bullet, you want to at least give it a sporting chance!
- For real sport though, go bare knuckling with one.SkyPoo
- bear nutting? oh sorry, my mistake...neue75_bold
- hahahajanne76
- JOSF0
you can't "honourably" fight a polar bear unless it's hand to paw combat, or you give the bear a gun and show him the basics.
- peterorpete0
Pick up the gun.
- byDefault000
i'm under the impression that this entire site is a joke:
http://www.ecoenquirer.com/Bush-…
+1 for having quite the imagination though ha
- mikotondria30
I believe your impression to be correct.
- kelpie0
yeah the weather war between the US and russia is starting to really scare me too, do you think some outlying skirmishing is what's causing my worst ever summer over here?
- SkyPoo0
"Court Orders Fisherman to Apologize to Eagle"
Hahahaha, That's great. I only went there when googling for a picture of a polar bear, so I didn't look at the rest of the site at all.
Top marks for faithfully emulating the website vernacular style of such an organisation and delivering the nonsense with a straight face.
My new favourite site.
- I didn't notice for ages either, to be fair I think that was the most believable article therekelpie
- gramme0
I immediately regret this decision. These bears are massive.