Living in Fear versus Living in Certainty
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- Helpinghand
We can live our lives in one of two ways - in fear or in certainty. The fear that we live in is fear of losing what we have (clinging) and/or fear of not getting what we want (desire). Either way it comes down to attachment. Living in certainty means letting go of our attachments. My less Buddhist-driven way of saying this is, "If no one is dead, bleeding or on fire, it'll all work out." How does that apply here?
You know that old expression, "As long as you have your health..."? Well, it's true. As long as you are both physically and mentally constituted, or have made modifications to adapt to any vulnerability in those areas, you are capable of anything. If you have a well-paying job that affords you a particular lifestyle and you lose that job, what's the worst possible thing that could happen? You get another job, or maybe you adapt your lifestyle. You just have to get out of your own way to do it.
Now, you're saying to yourself, "It's not that easy." Wrong. The thing that makes it difficult is YOU. We get in our own way by virtue of our attachments and our ego - a point made by the reader who said that we define ourselves by our jobs and income levels. What would you rather have on your gravestone: "Actuary, $125,000" or "Loving Companion and Friend"? I'm thinking ‘B'.
If we define ourselves by our roles and how society views us (or how we think society views us) we are living an inauthentic life. To live authentically and be present in our lives we need to do two things - decide what's important and gather evidence.
There's a line from a Don Henley song (which Sheryl Crow borrowed for a song that Henley sang backups on) that goes, "It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got." Well, sometimes what we've got changes.
As long as you continue to remain attached by virtue of clinging, desire and ego - as long you continue to live in fear - you will see that change or its potential as a bad thing. As soon as you stop, it becomes just a thing - maybe even a no-thing.
Here's an exercise: make a list of all the things and circumstances of your life then decide what you could live without. For someone living in certainty, that list gets pretty short, pretty quick. For someone living in fear, not so much. Once you've managed to come up with the short list, figure out how you would keep those things and circumstances without compromising your authenticity.
Gathering evidence is a bit less abstract. For the reader who expressed hating her job, but feared losing it, the question is, "What's keeping you from getting a new job?" She's established that she is capable of being successful in the workforce, and capable of creating a lifestyle that she enjoys. The tangible evidence suggests that she can do that again. So, what's stopping her? Fear. And that's not a judgment, that's just repeating her words.
Does she really, in her heart of hearts, believe that if she loses her job, she will lose "everything"? No...because she's young, strong, smart and healthy, which means she's capable of anything. She just has not yet come to terms with her own certainty.
So, when we live in fear by virtue of our attachments, we are trapped. And, when we let go of those attachments, we can live authentically, in certainty and presence. And we can do that at all times, with all things...not just the little things, but the big things, too.
- D_Dot0
Some of us are legitimately trying to waste time here. Kindly fuck off.
- Iggyboo0
wow. stop flooding qbn.