your blurb
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- elpaso
when publications ask you to write an *agency profile* what do you actually write as a freelancer?
i find it pretty ghey to start blubbering about myself in the third person...
what do you guys write?
- BonSeff0
bonseff writes whatever is best for bonseff
- how's the dog?capsize
- http://www.flavorful…
Bonseff pick up. Pick up the phone Bonseff. Bonseff pick up the phone. Pick up the phone Bonseff!!!flavorful - Bonseff! It's me, you, G-d damn that motherfucker's never there. AND THAT'S THE BONSEFF BIIIIIIIT!!! YAAAAA!!!flavorful
- sorry, bonseff is a dog fuckerBonSeff
- hahahhaha! I say that randomly sometimes and no one gets teh reference which is even better.flavorful
- hahah, man David Cross is the funniest motherfucker alive.flavorful
- gramme0
gramme writes in snow with yellow "watercolors"
- elpaso0
elpaso thinks its ghey talking about yourself in the third person
- exador10
can't stand writing that stuff either...but here's what my blurb is here at my company (had one of the project managers write it up...)
Tyson is the creative soul of Pentura. He is primarily responsible for providing effective online and traditional design bringing a holistic approach to communication. Tyson has extensive knowledge of brand identity, digital imaging, corporate and retail design, product packaging, tradeshow displays, and typography and logo design.
With over 22 years of experience, both agency and corporate, Tyson has worked with many leading organizations such as Inkstreams, Game Cafe, Heritage Hockey, Softscan, Allstream, Choice Hotels and Canada 3000.
_for the record, i have NO idea what my 'holistic approach' is supposed to be...
- pantera? FUCK YEAH!mrdobolina
- hahahaha...every single one of my friends says the same thing lol...PANTERA!!!!
exador1
- exador10
22 years?...more like 16 (no idea where that number came from) and why they chose those companies as examples is beyond me...they could have put down stuff like Martha Stewart, Google, and Honda...i think that would get more name recognition than, say, Inkstreams (a startup) and Heritage hockey....lol
- fugged0
I usually just write about my penis.
- ross0
When not saving the world from the forces of evil, ross is normally found wondering the streets alone, blind-drunk, yelling at parked cars.
He sometimes designs stuff and things.
- ninjasavant0
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer, I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago, I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
*I didn't write this, it is purported as a college entrance essay someone wrote.
- Dr_Rand0
bonseff from the internet writes whatever is best for bonseff from the internet
- Dr_Rand0
be sure to say "award-winning"
that's all that matters
- elpaso0
prolly wont work
NewElpaso is a Portuguese bodybuilder and heavy metal musician.
As a bodybuilder, he was the first Portuguese to win both the Mr. Canada and Mr. USA titles. During his bodybuilding career, he has achieved over 40 titles around the world.
As a musician, he is the front man for the heavy metal band Thor, billing himself as "The Legendary Rock Warrior". He has also made a few forays into acting, appearing in such films as Zombie Nightmare and Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare (the former was featured on Mystery Science Theatre 3000).
His concerts are known for his displays of strength, such as blowing up hot water bottles until they burst, bending steel bars with his teeth, and breaking bricks on his bare chest.
His most recent album, Devastation of Musculation, was released in March, 2006.
- fyoucher10
The police often question him just because they find him interesting. His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser mans entire body. His blood smells like cologne. He is the most interesting man in the world.
- Once he punched a magician. You heard me.ninjasavant
- -- From a Dos Equi Beer ad...fyoucher1
- gramme0
He had ten children and ate nine of them just to prove a point.
- gramme0
elpaso was once old, then he was new, and now he is timeless, immutable and omnitient.
- boobs0
"Better than anyone cheaper than me; cheaper than anyone better."
- mg330
I just submit a pie chart with the following breakdown:
50% Man
25% Machine
25% Beauty
25% Beast