crazy ridiculous story i have to share
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- myshoeshurt
so last night i wake up at 3am to a odd metal clanking which i immediately believe is coming from my kitchen and it sounds like someone is rummaging through my drawers. i freak out grab the trusty metal pipe by my bed and begin to walk out towards my hallway trying to decide if i should just make a run for it out my front door with my cat or possibly try and fend off a huge dude in my kitchen with all 110 pounds of me.
as i make to my door i realize that the sound is actually outside of my door and in the hallway. at first i think maybe someone is trying to get in so i look out the peep hole... i see carry out food scattered around but nothing else. the noise stops for a minute then starts again. finally i get pissed that i am up at 3am so i bang on the door, the noise immediately stops and whoever is out there runs down the stairs.
i go to the window and see 2 men at the end of my courtyard and one more exists my sections of the building. i open my door as i see they are now gone only to find a used condom and 7 eleven big gulps down the stairs from my door by the window they broke in to get into our hallway.
all i have to say is i am really happy i didn't run out the door with a lead pipe in one hand and my cat in the other while they were in action.
- Jaline0
I don't understand some of your story because of grammar and punctuation, but it sounds interesting. It's times like this I think I should have some kind of weapon in my room ;)
- fugged0
did you drink their big gulps?
- ahahaa yea there was a bag too... i ate there left over chicken as well.myshoeshurt
- of course... i mean i WAS thirsty.myshoeshurt
- dbloc0
do you live in an abandoned building?
- no i live in boystown in chicago.
does that make sense now?myshoeshurt - omg now i feel bad... i take it back.myshoeshurt
- no i live in boystown in chicago.
- creative-0
Have you been taking drugs?
- detritus0
Maybe they'll come back again?
In anticipation of their return, you should set up an IR video camera and halogen spotlight for dramatic effect - kicks for the kids, and you could make a bit of money peddling footage on the innernets.
- robotron3k0
condoms, big gulps and chicken... sounds like you missed an orgy.
- Yeah, at first I thought there were 2+ guys. Could be possible.Jaline
- welded0
Sounds like a missed opportunity for a memorable experience if I've ever heard one.
- BattleAxe0
did you hear any fart noises
- canuck0
Pics or it never happened.
- creative-0
I think you should have written the last sentence like this for comedy value:
"all i have to say is i am really happy i didn't run out the door with a lead pipe in one hand and my pussy in the other while they were in action."
- hahaJaline
- damn your right... i am still a little traumatized. just not on point right now.myshoeshurt
- myshoeshurt0
aahahaa no fart noises... i am still trying to figure out what i heard that made me think someone was going through my silverware in my kitchen... maybe they were eating chicken WHILE doin the deed?
- Or merely looking for some cutlery to dine out in stylecreative-
- who knows. Maybe they were banging against something? Or were doing something before having sex?Jaline
- i was really thinking it was metal bracelets.myshoeshurt
- cause when your breaking and entering to screw... you gotta do it in style.myshoeshurt
- Could be. Do a forensic investigation.Jaline
- harlequino0
Fun fact (and possible story exposition and/or explanation):
Eating during sex, or sec during eating depending on your viewpoint, is indeed a fetish. My first college roommate had a wacko girlfriend who liked to eat during, and also eat in the shower during sex. And sometimes just eat in the shower.
She also cleared out her dorm closet, slid the mattress in there, and lived in her closet for a week or two. But that's a different story.- http://www.nicecupof…23kon
- hahahaha wtf!BattleAxe
- multi-taskingmyshoeshurt
- BattleAxe0
hmmm
"Oh, my darling, knock three times on the ceiling if you want me
Twice on the pipe if the answer is no, oh, my sweetness
(Knock, knock, knock!) Means you'll meet me in the hallway
Mmm, twice on the pipe (clink, clink) means you ain't gonna show"
- rubifuse0
About 10 years ago I worked in night club and I opened a door to a room that led to another door to the street. Anyway there were two guys in there getting it on. I just told them they had until the count of three and shut the door. When I opened the door the two of them where running down the avenue with there pants around their ankles....priceless
- You missed a great opportunity to yell "Be gone!!! Dark heathen phantoms of my mind!! Be gone from this plane!!"harlequino
- CALLES0
you said you weigh 110... so that makes you a girl... well hello there
- CALLES0
So they were PIITB?
- myshoeshurt0
haha yes i am a girl. but i could of been a pre-adolescent boy.
- then you coulda joined the poultry laced fun. Ah well, maybe in the next life.harlequino
- haha true truemyshoeshurt
- kona0
so did flavorful and calles ever stop back by to pick up their big gulps?
- Bwahahacreative-
- lolharlequino
- lolCALLES
- but i dont like gingera fyiCALLES
- i thought that is what they were doing a big gulpBattleAxe
- HAHAHAAAmyshoeshurt
