my neighbor
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- ninjasavant
So I've lived in this apartment (flat) for about 6 months now. I like it because its cheap, close to downtown, and in one of the nicer areas in San Jose. Its cheap because the building is old and the landlord has owned it since forever. So long in fact that my wall sharing neigbor has lived there for roughly 36 years.
Thirty. Six. Years. He doesn't drive, won't talk to me when I say hello, and has a wicked porno stache with televangelist hair to match.
The thing that freaks me out is every night, several times each night it sounds like he's chasing something across the floor with a hammer. He could be banging on my floor and it couldn't be louder. It makes things in my apartment shake. Its freaky.
It usually happens within minutes of him getting home, and then periodically throughout the night. Stranger still since I only ever see him carrying 2 or 3 books (almost all the time) and wearing essentially the same outfit.
What the hell could he be doing over there? Every so often he makes me jump out of my skin. The end.
- slappy0
maybe he keeps his cash under his floor boards...
hes probebly doing what it sounds like hes doing and hammering nials into his floor boards...
- ********0
"www.ltd-design.com/ito... [mp3]
mrdobolina
(Feb 11 07, 22:44)"fucking perfect!
- akoni0
spanking his wood
- version30
remember how weird you were in high school? last year, hell, last week?
now project yourself 20 some odd years into the future,
i doubt you're as cool as you think you were, let alone how cool you think you're going to be
hey I'm just saying...
for all i know the man has an apt covered in filth and is smashing vermin with a shoe every time he comes home
*coming from someone who enjoys carrying books and often wears the same outfit or a variation thereof
- akoni0
my theory was better...
short and to the point
no pun intended
- ribit0
Mr. Balowski: I've not always been mad, y'know, but um... I was actually driven mad by the indifference of architecture and council planners. Y'see I live in a tower block, and um, the thing about those is that there's terrible noise problems, because there's no noise insulation at all y'know, and 8 floors below you there's always some bastard who's got a Yamaha home organ, y'know. You're just about to go to sleep and you hear this doot-doot! chh-chh doot-doot! chh-chh chkdt BAH WA DAH BAH NAOW! doot-doot! chh-chh doot-doot! chh-chh! and like, the people who live upstairs from me, I can't understand what they're doing! Y'know I listen, and all I can hear is this weird noise and it goes voom voom, BLAT-NN BLAT-NN, voom voom, BLAT-NN BLAT-NN, and it sounds, right, it sounds like two elephants on a motorbike riding round and round, while a seal bangs a kipper on the table!
I went upstairs to complain, and the door was answered by this elephant in a crash helmet!Standing behind him is this seal going [pantomimes hitting a table with an object, the other hand on his hip] "WHAT IS IT NOW, RALPH?"