Deep Thoughts II ...
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- jevad
I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals.
- mr_snuggles0
* gasp
- k0na_an0k0
I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.
- jevad0
If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.
- k0na_an0k0
If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the inpression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.
- jevad0
At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw fuck you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.
- k0na_an0k0
Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger. He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone about the treasure. I said, "Okay, as long as it's not a long story. Some of us have a plane to catch, you know." He stared telling hes story, about the treasure and his life and all, and I thought: "This story isn't too long." But then, he kept going, and I started thinking, "Uh-oh, this story is getting long." But then the story was over, and I said to myself: "You know, that story wasn't too long after all." I forget what the story was about, but there was a good movie on the plane. It was a little long, though.
- jevad0
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.
- k0na_an0k0
Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, "You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he's just like everybody else." Then everybody would leave the Cricket Boy alone, and I'd invite him over to spend the night at my house, but after about five minutes of that loud chirping I'd have to kick him out. Maybe later we could get up a petition to get the Cricket Family run out of town. Bye, Cricket Boy.
- k0na_an0k0
It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, and Angel gets set on fire.
- chossy0
I'd like to see me having sex with a hot chick :D
- k0na_an0k0
I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.
- Momentum20
I'd like to see a nude oprah, because when she hits those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals.
jevad
(Oct 26 06, 09:31)
- k0na_an0k0
lol@jevad
- jevad0
Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.
- k0na_an0k0
The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.
- mr_snuggles0
savages...
- jevad0
If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.
- TheBlueOne0
I'd like to see me having sex with a hot Chuck D.
chossy
(Oct 26 06, 09:36)
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Yeah boyyeee...
- brandelec0
if i carried a fake baby in a harness across my chest for halloween, chicks would dig it. lucky lil shit rides free on the subway too
- vespa0
if i were a cardboard engineer or had skills of a constructive nature, i'd invent an envelope that was perfectly at home with it's bendy nature. Do Not Bend, what's that all about? reinforcing mainstream behaviour to the detriment of the open-minded amongst us, that's what.
when will we learn to celebrate flexibility instead of pigeonholing ourselves and our envelopes into false misery? DOWN WITH THE CLASS SYSTEM!!