Hey k0na
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- ninjasavant
I just read your post about the smoothie incident. Had a good laugh, top notch.
I feel vicariously vindicated for all the times I've wanted to spike my large coffee on someones windshield for driving through the small parking lot on their cell phones.
- spendogg0
tell me the stoy kona! you never tell me stories anymore.
- k0na_an0k0
hahaha... thanks ninjasavant!!!
he read it off my site. at the bottom in my 'stories' section.
i have another that i've been thinking about adding but i'm a bit hesitant. it's funny but really bad.
- k0na_an0k0
spendogg. this is how it went down
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DO NOT MESS WITH ME
while you see me enjoying a delicious fruit smoothieSo last night I'm shopping for some groceries at the local whole foods supermarket (yes, whole foods, I don't actually go out and kill cows with my bare hands, who knew), anyways, just before I leave I go to the juice stand in the supermarket and order a large natural juice drink. Mmmm.... tasty.
So I check out and as I'm walking the cart out to my car I happen to look up at this blue minivan coming at me going to pass on my right and I see this kid, probably 16 or 17 or so leaning out the window with his arms out. At first I think it's someone I know, then I hear him say "HEY MOTHER F*CKER!" trying to scare me, and then quickly leans inside the car laughing at his buddy and they both share a laugh together. I'm sure I had a "WTF OMG" or something look on my face. Priceless.
Here's the problem, the kid did it far too soon and the minivan was traveling way too slow. So as it's about to pass and they are still laughing I, almost nonchalantly, toss my almost full Natural Fruit Smoothie into the vehicle and it hits him in his chest and explodes inside the car... then, THAT look on HIS face was indeed the most priceless look of the event. Then a funny thing happened in that brief instant before he passed completely so I could no longer see the HOLY F*CK THIS IS MY MOMS CAR look on his pathetic little face... his buddy driving the car put the pedal to the metal and sped off like I just through a stick of dynamite behind their car and they wanted to drive out of the blast radius.
In the millisecond it took for the juice drink to hit the kid it did pass through my mind that the two of them may get out and a fight would break out, but I was really counting on them being a couple of p*ssies and just driving off, but the opportunity to throw my smoothie into their car was just too good to pass up, I had to do it.
The moral of the story: Never f*ck with a guy holding a large delicious smoothie.
- ninjasavant0
RIP smoothie, your delicious viscosity was not in vain . . .
- Serifa750
Agreed, this story is unparalleled. Great jaerb k0na!
- spendogg0
hahahahha WTF!
I had to re-read a couple of parts because i wasn't sure if you did it or not. But that is effen hilarious. You could have beat the snot out of those 2 teenagers with your bucket of tobuli tied behind your back.
- flavorful0
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH HAH AHHAHAHAHH HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAH A HAHAHH HAHAHHA HAH HAH AHA
kOna you're the fucking man!
We should write all of our ridiculous stories down for the public to benefit from ... or so everyone knows exactly how big of assholes we can actually be, hahah.
- radar0
hahaha, you probaly got the kid grounded for a month, with loss of car privlages
- Mal0
air five dude!
nice one.
- k0na_an0k0
hahaha... thanks guys.
when i told my fiance' at the time what had happened she was at first really pissed. she was mad i did it cause she was like 'what if they got out and shot you??' and i was like 'dude they were covered with the smoothie, they would have gotten out of the car and been slipping and sliding all over the ground while i ran away.
after a bit she was laughing about it too.
my parents go to that site once in a while to check on me and they called one night real late laughing their asses off. my dad especially cause he would have done the same.
haha. funny stuff. i still laugh about that.
- gramme0
GOOD TIMES.
:D
- digitalswarm0
Can we get a security tape Quicktime?
- mayo0
If they had stopped the minivan to get out and clean the mess, you should have rushed them, pounding their heads in with a whole food lettuce head in a plastic bag and said,"Look what you fucking did to my smoothie!"
- k0na_an0k0
hahaha mayo!
the kid leaning out the window was noticably smaller than me so i didn't think i had to worry too much. but, in retrospect there could have been more in the back i didn't see. luckily for me there were only two.
too bad i didn't have two smoothies.
*throws smoothie
and one for you too driver
*throws smoothie
*driver thinking
OMG WHAT TYPE OF MAN CAN DRINK TWO SMOOTHIES OF OPPOSITE FLAVORS AT ONCE.... GO GO GO *speeds off
- PonyBoy0
aaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahHAHAHA...
epic.