precious
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- kingjulien
So I've been laboring over this story about an old boss of mine, this greasy Italian guy that we used to call the Big Ragu after the character from Laverne and Shirley. This guy had the thickest head of hair imaginable - and to compound matters he would get hot oil treatments - daily, and wore the world's smallest ponytail, ever. This guy ran a baseball card business out of his home back in 1991, one of the first to take advantage of the internet market. The thing is, he would work for two hours, ship out his orders while still in sweats and black china flaps, and then the 400 lb. Japanese kid next door would come by for a wiffle-ball tournament, which lasted the rest of the afternoon. The only time this didn't occur was when his father would drive down from the mountains to cut his lawn (yes, he hired his dad to be his gardener) or when the cleaning lady showed up (the only girls he ever dated were his maids). He then would shower, lather his hair with hot oil, and go to kung fu class.
Now, the thing is, the Big Ragu had this cat that looked just like him - I mean with the same coarse wet hair and everything - and no matter how many insults you tossed his way, if you said anything disparaging about his cat, he would want to fight you. The only tension we ever had was when I laughed after discovering that his cat ate a massive four paper joint that he had left out the previous night, and spent the day throwing up (He also didn't find it funny when I suggested we turn on The Piper At the Gates of Dawn in stereo to see if the cat responded).
The best thing though is, five minutes ago - while doing research - I discovered that he once had his cat life-flighted into emergency surgery. I was told this detail with the warning that if I used it in the story, he would kick my ass. The guy is a former offensive lineman and has a glock under his bed. As far as I know, this threat is real.
So I have a dilemma friends, one that has been resolved, I guess, while typing this out. I know pets are precious to many of you, and I once had a cat I loved dearly, but to have it life-flighted? Is that possible? How can I not use this detail?
It would be wrong not to.
- gruntt0
you absolutely must.
you've been handed gold now spend it.
- cruz_azul0
"I laughed after discovering that his cat ate a massive four paper joint"
"and wore the world's smallest ponytail"
LMAO
- kingjulien0
I once made Jennifer Sterling cry. Believe me, she deserved it.