Friday 13th
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- lowimpakt0
i was sawed in half by an invisible magician
- mrdobolina0
I murdered a man on his way to work on my way to hockey practice.
weestu
(Jan 13 06, 05:35)defeated...
- _salisae_0
just in .. today is about luck but whether it is good or bad is up to
- chossy0
when I went to take my morning toof it didn't stink, don't know what that says to you but to me it smells funny.
- ********0
Just coming back from the pub just now, I saw some kind of little model on the pavement. Being a nosey cunt I picked it up to get a better look. It was only a fucking voodoo doll.
It's put the willies right up me.
- paraselene0
did it look like you and all?
- chossy0
jeesus there's secret rules fo no touchy touchy another mans / womans voodoo doll oh my god skt you could be roasted alive and everything quick say some incantation incant quickly oh my god you had better incant like you had never incanted gefore.
*incants for skt.
- fr0st0
i plugged in my iron today and sparks flew from the outlet, singed iron's cord off the plug and left the end hangin off the outlet...burned my hand a lil bit
way to start a Friday 13th and Im going for happy hour...i cant wait to see what happens
- ********0
this morning while driving to work i wasn't really paying attention to the road and blasted threw an intersection and ran over like 6 or 7 kids. the bad luck part happened when i spilled a bit of coffee on my leg. wtf. i thought the lid was on tight.
- mrdobolina0
a check I deposited that I was worried whether it would clear before the weekend was in my account today.
But then again I was murdered on the way to work, so I guess it all evened out, eh?
- ********0
Beware Of The Friday 13th Virus
It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes melty.
It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number.
It will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank.
It will drink all your beer and leave dirty socks on the coffee table when company comes over.
It will put a dead aardvark in the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys when you are late for work.
Friday 13th Virus will make you fall in love with a penguin.
It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.
It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Discover card.
It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it.
It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail in your voice!
It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
Friday 13th Virus will give you Dutch Elm disease.
It will leave the toilet seat up.
It will leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.
Friday 13th Virus will cause your cakes to fall and your blood pressure to rise.
It will increase the ability of your radio to pick up reactionary talk stations at the expense of others.
It prevents scurvy, but it gives you mega garlic breath as it does so, which makes the net results negative.
It cheats at Scrabble.
It can forge your signature.
It plays the bagpipes in your basement.
It shaves over your bathroom sink and then leaves the hair to clog your drain.
It does bad celebrity impersonations in front of your friends.
- ********0
there's a guy in my office changing light bulbs and he'd better not try lighting my dim corner of the room or I'll get Friday 13th on his step ladder....
- rizingdamp0
email from client complaining about a quotes... client changing the whole layout of a brochure when it is 85% done... arguing with girlfriend... just another normal day for me!
- chossy0
then hit him with a cup moth, hit him hard.
- paraselene0
haha. that's what the md always says when i spend too much time on web team work* 'i don't want to see you going over to the dark side, para'
*a.k.a. pissing about here with you lot
- ********0
But the real question is and half you baby@sses will not remember it.
Do you remember this movie!!!?
- _salisae_0
skt burn all the socks you own that have holes in them QUICCK!!
- ********0
i put a "welcome to camp crystal lake" sign above my desk.
i'm still waiting for someone to get the reference here.
the first person who does gets a box full of push up pins stuck in their eye.
- ********0
I loved the original NES game ...