resignation letter
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- spongebob
Dear Mr Pilgrim
As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and myself during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.
Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time. You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is.
Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation; however I have a few parting thoughts.
1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favourites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favourably by the administration.
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers birthday", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please. I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public.
Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!
Sincerely
Adrian Barragan
- rson0
haha is that real?
- hiten0
i like Lolita's but i dont like your boss.
- hiten0
thats a harsh letter (kinda funny though) but im pretty sure some of the stuff you mention in the letter is more illegal then looking at porn at work. I dont know though. I'm not a lawyer.
- hiten0
and by more legal i mean your intended actions against him. blackmail is the term i guess.
no idea though. none lawyer.
- hiten0
and by more legal i mean more illegal.
- spongebob0
hiten... you had a great new year's eve party right?
- VectorMasked0
I like it. It shows class, knowledge, and the ability to come up with solutions for different kind of problems. It also shows that you are a go-getter and that you don't require a lot of supervision.
- hiten0
yeah it was alright...
umm...and yourself!?
do i know you?
- spongebob0
yeah it was alright...
umm...and yourself!?
do i know you?
hiten
(Jan 2 06, 20:16)I don't think so... I just thought that you were drunk when you posted 4 times.
Lost me right after the first post. BWAHAHAHAHA
- gramme0
screw bosses. start a design studio.
- perfunct0
tonight i will dream of dropping this very letter off on my ceo's desk in the morning.
then i'll wake up, go to work, and smile.
- uberdesigner0
sys admins suck
- tkmeister0
hahaha
it's funny but it's not really...if he hated his boss so much, why in the hell he put up with that shit for 5 years??
- josimarX0
I read the first para and (half) read the last para (probably more or less what the boss did too) and my conclusion is whoever the person that wrote it is, sounds like a fanny and is trying too hard to show some intelligence.
- Art_Ninja0
After reading this, I'm pretty sure you work at my institution of higher learning...
Universities are a breeding ground for failed business men and morons; so i'm sure its the same everywhere. Also, some offer benefits like health insurance at retirement after working for 5 years. I understand.
- todelete__20
*copy. paste.
i'm saving this letter for a later time.
- stevegee0
yea, I might use this towards the end of the month... thanks.