Merry Christmas

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    We wish you a Merry Christmas! MERRY CHRISTMAS!*

    *Legal Disclaimer: ‘Merry Christmas’ (hereafter ‘The
    Greeting’)... this announcement is not intended to
    offend, alienate, foster hate, or be a precursor for
    any egregious acts (legal or illegal), thoughts,
    words, or deeds. ‘The Greeting’ is made only in the
    context in which it may be legally received, if in
    fact, it is received at all. It is not intended to be
    nor should it be, in any way, connected to any other
    type of greeting, real or imagined, past, present or
    future. No references to any persons, things, or
    substances, animate or inanimate, real, fictional, or
    otherwise should be assumed by the reader or receiver
    of the greeting (hereafter, ‘the greetee’). The
    greeting is not being made to (nor will tenders be
    accepted from or on behalf of) nonbelievers in ‘The
    Greeting’ in any jurisdiction in which making and/or
    accepting the greeting would violate that
    jurisdiction’s laws or feelings (also refer to local
    statutes and ordinances related to ‘The Greeting’). In
    any jurisdiction in which perceived ‘greeting’ is not
    welcomed nor agreed upon by all ‘greetees,’ then the
    ‘greetor’ of ‘The Greeting’ will be held harmless in
    this life and the next, including all issuing
    posterity both now and forever. ‘The Greeting’ may be
    made by a licensed ‘greetor’ and any liability assumed
    or created by the ‘greetee’ shall be the sole
    responsibility of said ‘greetor.’ If you have been
    aggrieved, offended, waylaid, parlayed, filleted, or
    delayed in any way, either real, imagined, or
    perceived by said ‘Greeting’ and/or by ‘greetor’ as
    the result of receiving said ‘greeting’ you can call
    toll free 1-800-CHRISTMAS to speak with legal counsel
    or Bill O'Rileys Fat Stupid Ass.

    Please pass this message of peace and togetherness at
    this special time of the year around to all others you
    can think of - especially Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, or
    some other stupid ass religions who should be humble
    enough to not be offended by our expression of the One
    and Only True Religion and not some gobbledy gook
    magic that they believe in here in this great country
    of freedom and protection of minority rights - God
    Bless America and Fox news.

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