The Aristocrats
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- Jnr_Madison0
I'm singing up now.
- Jnr_Madison0
*signing
- Rand0
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
So they jump into the routine. The man grabs his daughter and reaches under her skirt and starts finger blasting her while she grabs her brother's penis from his pants and begins servicing him with her mouth. The mother goes out into the hallway and grabs a metal bucket and begins shitting into it. Now the night before she ate a lot of cabbage and took some laxatives so it's the Hershey squirts to the max. The man now pulls down his daughter's panties and stuffs them into her ass and begins to fuck her cunt. Her brother pulls his cock out of her mouth and walks over to his shitting mother and begins masturbating until he cums all over her face, she grabs his balls and just begins to squeeze.
The father now pulls the panties out of his daughter's ass, after reaming her vagina until she bled, and stuff's them into her tear covered face. He begins to ravage her asshole.
The mother stops shitting and she reaches into the bucket and smears shit all over her son's face with her free hand while she continues to crush his balls.The father fists his daughter while anally raping her. The son begins to slap his mother as hard as he can while calling her godless cunt rag. The man's daughter has passed out from bloodloss and sheer shock. The mother completely crushes her son's balls as he passes out. The man pulls his dick out of his daughter and flips her over and he masturbates all over her face.
He grabs some smelling salts and revives both his daughter and his son. He walks over to his wife and begins fucking her, choking her with his belt as she punches his ribs. The son seizing the opprotunity of having the brown shit smeared all over his face begins a black face routine. The daughter begins to fist her bleeding vagina. The son see's his sister and begins to fuck her in the ass while she continues to fist herself.
The man's wife has turned blue and passed out, he continues to fuck her proclaiming how he wishes she were dead so her cunt would be nice and cold. He drops her on the floor and shits and pisses all over her. The brother is pulling his sister's hair and spanks her ass raw while she screams for mercy.
He pulls out and leaves to go to the Hallway only to return with a burlap sack. He opens the burlap sack and pushes out an eighty year old Auschwitz survivor with a ball gag and leather panties. The father and brother don Nazi attire and begin masturbating furiously onto him while the daughter beats him with a horse whip. Covered in cum the eighty year old's heart fails. The father begins to ass rape him while the brother sticks his cock into his cold mouth, so they have him skewered like a pig on a spit. Both the father and the brother cum all over him. The father then walks over to the talent agent's desk covered in his own shit and piss and asks "may I borrow your telephone sir?"
"Why of course," replies the talent agent.
He rips the phone out of the wall and walks over to his son and punches him right in the mouth with it, knocking the boy's teeth everywhere, and he begins to face fuck him. The boy chokes to death on his father's dick. The father and the sister walk over to the passed out mother and the daughter goes down on her while the father rapes his daughter's bleeding ass. The wife comes to and grabs her daughter's hair and shoves her face deeper into her vagina and until she can't breathe and smother's her to death. Her husband pulls his dick out of the dead daughter flips her over and cums all over her chest. His wife gets up and starts sucking his dick while fisting him in the ass. She bites his dick off, pulls it out of her mouth and shoves it down his throat and he asphyxiates on his own dick. She stands up and takes a bow as the clock strikes seven.
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"
- Jaline0
See, I think those ones get a bit tired after a while. Instead of using the same kind, people need to change it up a bit.
I think that's why the least obscene ones were some of the funniest in my mind.
And then there's Bob Saget...
- Jnr_Madison0
lol