Why I fired my secretary
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- version3
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."
I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids will remember.
My kids came into breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary, Angie said, "Good morning, boss, Happy Birthday!" it felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o'clock and then Angie knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go out to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "Thanks Angie, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"
We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. We dined instead at a little place with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Angie said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"
I responded, "i guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "let's go to my apartment."
After arriving at her apartment Angie turned to me and said, "boss, if you don't mind, i'm going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I'll be right back."
"Ok." I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake...
Followed by my wife, kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
Naked...
- phatlee0
Two women are walking home after a girlie night out. They are very drunk and the walk home is taking some time due to their intoxicated state. Eventually, they find themselves desperate for a wee.
At that particular moment, they are passing a church and decide to go behind the headstones in the graveyard. As they finish they both realize they have nothing to 'freshen-up' with so the first woman decides to use her knickers and then throw them away. The second woman is wearing very expensive underwear and is reluctant to lose them, when she notices a new grave nearby with lots of fresh flowers, amongst which is a very lavish bouquet with a thick soft ribbon. 'Just the job' she decides and without another thought, duly drags the bouquet over and uses the ribbon to dry herself. Their task completed, the women continue staggering home. Next morning, the husband of the first woman phones the husband of the second. "We need to keep an eye on our wives. Mine came home with no knickers on last night. "You think you've got problems" says the second husband "My wife came home last night with a card stuck up her arse that said, "We'll Never Forget You - From All the Lads at the Fire Station."
- jox0
HAHAHAA
fucking priceless.
- JazX0
hehehe
- Jaline0
hahaaha
- cruz_azul0
:)
- jevad0
lol
- todelete__20
classic!
- honest0
ha ha it is to laugh ;)
- sketchism0
I really hope this is a joke and not real. Plllease tell me it's a joke.