jack
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- kingjulien
warning: LONG and perhaps, overly-sentimental.
-----------------------------On the morning of my first class ever, I scanned the room and laughed. I was used to being the only white guy wherever I went, so it wasn't surprising to discover the class was so diverse, and yet there were all these different people staring at me anxiously, and I knew they were all wondering the same thing. "Where the fuck did this 14 year old white boy come from, and when is our real teacher gonna walk in and tell everybody this is a joke?"
I think I made an early impression though, as they seemed to buy into what I was saying, and by the end of the class, I had bonded with the group (which consisted of a 80 year old Cuban grandmother named Rosa, a Vietnamese girl I called Tooey don't be no Fooeee, and this Tibetan monk named Bao who I referred to as 'Bao how you like me now?') . Everybody seemed interested except for Jack, this big black guy with an afro who refused to look at me, choosing instead to stare at the Reading is Fun poster behind me, the one with Edward James Olmos and his porn mustache smiling perversely at a bunch of nine year olds with a book in hand.
Jack waited patiently for me after class. When the room was empty he approached. I was sitting down and this guy towered over me, and of course--in my mind--I was like, this is it, Professor gets murdered his first hour on the job. But of course this was all just a temporary aside, for when I looked at him Jack put his hand out, and--eyes tearing--introduced himself. He told me he had Down's Syndrome and needed my help. He said he had been a drug dealer for the past 8 years in East Oakland, but he had seen too much shit and wanted out, too many friends shot right next to him, brains splattered, pointless crimes that even the most hardened and cynical couldn't stomach. Then, wiping his eyes, he told me that he was also tired of his friends teasing, how they made fun of his speech impediment and his "slowness". He said he liked me and wanted--desperately--to get my help, just so he didn't get teased any more.
Here is my first day as a Professor, a 27 year old kid fresh out of grad school--convinced that I had fooled everybody by getting hired in the first place, and here I am, inspired by this guy's story. I guess it sounds corny now, years later, but believe me, it was powerful.
Jack couldn't read and he could barely write, but he had help from the disability center on campus, and over time, he wrote some terribly moving papers, stuff that demonstrated his hard work and willingness to examine his life, warts and all.
And yet, he was prone to seizures, and sometimes he would be on some crazy medication. He would stare into space half baked and then out of the blue just blurt out these crazy incoherant things. It was funny though, because instead of sitting with the rest of the class, he would walk by me, say "what up teach?" while i was in the middle of a lecture, and then grab a seat next to me at the podium. The class looked at me like "why are you letting him sit with you?", but then slowly they got that things weren't right with Jack, and for a time, everything was great.
Jack would follow me around from class to class and then to the teacher's lounge and the library, this big old ghetto brotha with a 4 inch natural and this skinny white boy with a polo shirt.
Unfortunately, Jack didn't have the discipline to maintain the workload, and after a few too many seizures, and a drug deal gone bad in Hawaii, he stopped showing up right before the midterm. I was sad, but knew it wouldn't be the first time my heart was ripped out by a student, so I tried to forget things.
Six months later, on a hot spring afternoon, Jack came to one of my office hours unannounced. I was meeting with a student, but he was all manic and sweating and said he needed to speak with me-- urgently. He then explained what had happened in Hawaii, about the 2 weeks he spent in custody. At that point I wasn't sure what to believe, especially when he claimed that his Uncle-- Too Short-- had set him up with a studio deal in Richmond, and now he needed some scratch to pay for a producer. I tried to encourage whatever he was doing, even though i wasn't clear what he was babbling about, that is until he offered to blow up my car one evening while I was sleeping for the insurance money I could get, which he was willing to do for five hundred bucks.
Now, I've done a lot of illegal shit in my time, and it's not unheard of to have a student confess to using coke or being a stripper, but this was on another level, and I was floored, utterly speechless.
I've always attracted some loonies, and that's cool, it makes life interesting, and yet i knew I had to detach myself from this guy, no matter how much I liked him, so I said, "Well jack, thanks for the opportunity, but I think I'll pass."He looked disappointed but understood, I think, and he put on his headphones and walked out. About half way towards the parking lot, as I was watching him leave, he turned to me, and with his left hand on his backpack, he smiled and waved.
I never saw him again after that.
- nick0
i love you, kj.
- MX_OnD0
top.
- fate_0
KJ's good people.
- uberdesigner0
kj, is this about that sappy robin williams movie?
- kingjulien0
glad to see all my favorites back in the scene.
buddylee, yes it is about the robin williams movie. another francis ford coppola classic.
- kld0
too $hort, I actually mean the story was too short, I was hoping for more.
- magicpatch0
heart-warming narrative, dude. thanks for sharing.
- ricstultz0
good shit KJ,,, fer real man. I always get caught up in your stories.
- todelete__20
ace
- jevad0
awesome
- uberdesigner0
I'm not buddylee
- Gorbie0
toooo siiiiirrrrr
wiiiiiith looooove !
- _salisae_0
um. four inch natural?
- kingjulien0
thank you. sincerely.
btw, i don't think i cooked one of my porkshops properly last night, it was all pink in the middle, and i didn't notice until i was 4 bites from being finished, so if i fall off ship suddenly it's the tapeworm.
- kingjulien0
shari, his hair, you pervvvvvvvvvvvv
- Gorbie0
über is the Salieri to your Mozart.
watch out for the botchulism dude.
- _salisae_0
oh.
ha ha ...
- uberdesigner0
oddly enough I'm the same ethnicity of f murray abraham
- uberdesigner0
also, I'm convinced that kj is just pasting snippets from livejournal pages
- kingjulien0
uber, please go play on another block. some other hoe is already banging here.