Women..I just don't get it
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- Boz
[longer story below]
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I think that I really fail to understand women. After I got stood up for a date a tried to figure out what happened and still can't get to the bottom of it. Let me explain:I meet this girl, she's a manager of one sports bar, and we started talking from time to time when we meet each other, since then I started stopping by that bar she works at (pretty cool place btw). She seemed nice and it seemed that she wasn't like most young girls, partying and all that and I decide to ask her out. I ask her if she wants to go out with me, but since I wanted to give her a way out I asked to give her my phone number, so if she didn't want to go out she would never call and not really feel pressured. Well, I was pleasantly suprised when she actually offered to give me her phone number and told me to give her a call that upcoming weekend (July 4th holiday) so we can go out and do something.
Well, we talked over the weekend and we agree to go out on that Monday. So I give her a call on Monday and after she said that she's going to her girlfriend's pool to kick back and catch some sun, she says that I should call her in the afternoon so we can see each other. I say ok, and try calling her around 6pm to pick her up. I get an answering machine and I leave a polite message. She never calls back. So ok, I'm definitely a bit upset because I actually told some of my friends that I have some plans for that evening and passed on some other stuff that was suppose to be fun. Now, I haven't seen her since then and finally when I stopped by the bar to get some lunch today not really expecting to see her there, there she was. Well, she didn't see me come in and I go on the patio, trying to avoid her and just do my thing there. Well, she finally saw me on the patio and she approched me saying that she was really sorry for that day and that she left her cell phone at home and went with her roommates to watch the fireworks. I was still polite and said that it was ok, but I really had no intention of asking her out again. She spent some time there talking to me about some other irrelevant stuff and she had to go back to work and do some work around the bar.
Now, I'm not sure I want to ask this girl out again because I don't know what to think. I don't want to be pushy (not my style really) and since she didn't call I guess she really didn't want to go out in the first place and she's not interested.
Am I missing something here? I mean she could've called that day at least and gave me BS so I knew where I stand. She's 22 btw if that has any relevance at all.
Should I call her again or just flip the new page in the book and just let it be?
- mydo0
dude. you thinking way too much. it's not complicated until after you've slept with them.. chicks are flakey if they don't know what they want. you should be thinking with your second brain on this one.
- Kiko0
hahaha true
- fate_redux0
Don't call her again. In fact, I wouldn't go to the bar for a good week or 2 straight.
- spongebob0
she's testing you.
if you give up like that it means you aren't serious, and she doesn't give a shit for guys who aren't serious.
just my two cents.
- Peter0
You called what, twice that day? And ended up going to her work the day after?
Maybe youve come off to her as a bit desperate, unfortunately.
Did she make any notions that she wanted to arrange another time to see you at that time? If not, I don/t think she is interested.
Ever considered that the whole talk at the bar after was just a polite way of saying "it was "nice of you to call last weekend"?
But what do I know....
- ArtDirector0
I'd like to hear a woman's perspective on this story.
- rasko40
did you ever consider that maybe she did actually leave her phone at home?
- ArtDirector0
I doubt that. She sets up a time, and flakes out on it. Somethings fishy.
- Rand0
don't ever call her again, don't go to that bar again for at least ten years, leave the country for at least five years, and don't leave your apartment for at least two years
- Jaline0
Hmmm..her story could be true (I know I wouldn't just make it up, but she could've).
Maybe you two should've picked a different, less busy weekend to hang out. The July 4th thing was a little uncertain in terms of if she was actually going to be with you instead of her friends.
My advice is...don't go to the bar or try to contact her for a week or so. If you still want to ask her out after, go ahead. But don't expect too much.
- GreedoLives0
Show up at her house at 3 AM with a boombox blaring 'lady in red' in the one hand and a very large butcher knife in the other. Then burst into tears.
Trust me.
- shaft0
She has a boyfriend or a fresh ex bf.
And/or she's testing you. Ask her out again if you're still thinking of her, but make a joke that it'd be nice if she tells you if she's about to forget her phone.
- AndyJnr0
Welcome to the wierd and wonderful world of a women's mind!!
Now, I think you have 2 options, firstly, you could go back to the bar with your mates, have a great time(or make it look that way) and then she will see what she's missing out on, or don't go to the bar for a couple of weeks, but maybe drop her a txt or call her, just so she know's your still thinking about her, women in general loved being thought about, and that way you don't come across as needy!!
Or, just find someone else that won't mess you around!
I do wish you lots of luck tho!!
- shaft0
..and if you're going to ask her out, take a break now for a week. Wait till she begins to miss you. Her vanity expects you to crawl around her. Don't give her that just now.
This always worked for me:
1. show that you're attracted to her (ie. ask her out)
2. suddenly ignore her (be nice, just not interested)
3. she took you for granted, now that you're not around, she wants you.
4. she's yours
- _salisae_0
gay is the root word of games
- Crouwel0
women are soooooo freaking weird. last night i got that fact thrown right at my face again.
- IRNlun60
"I ask her if she wants to go out with me, but since I wanted to give her a way out I asked to give her my phone number, so if she didn't want to go out she would never call and not really feel pressured. "
This was your first mistake. You're just not being honest here. Yes, you want to go out with her but you give her your phone number as an escape plan if she doesn't. Well, she didn't and now you're wondering why? You gave her the out remember?
Plus, give yourself some more credit. You barely know her; she should want to go out with you not he other way around if that makes any sense to you.
good luck, don't think about it so much...
- E__________0
I agree with IRNlun6, there are more fish in the sea and Russia.
- Crouwel0
"dude. you thinking way too much. it's not complicated until after you've slept with them.. chicks are flakey if they don't know what they want. you should be thinking with your second brain on this one.
mydo
(Jul 10 05, 03:58)"ha, i will keep this in mind next time.
- Crouwel0
...and what Rand says.
That's always how i handle this sort of things.