Caught in the Rain
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- kingjulien
Warning: It's long, and a little disjointed, which to me seems perfectly understandable
------------------------------I spent my 31st birthday caged inside my studio, victim of a sinus infection that made my throat feel like I had a razor blade lodged inside it. I don't know why it was such a big deal to me--as a rule I despise anything that makes me the center of attention--and yet it was a downer to spend the night slamming Nyquil and watching The Big Lebowski for the 20th time instead of partying, just to remind myself what it feels to be alive.
Consequently, last Friday, a week later, I decided to replay my birthday. I figured hey, the date may be different but technically any day could be a holiday if you look at it through the right lens. At least it sounded cool in the moment, and really, who could tell me differently?
First up was a concert here in town, with the one and only Gorbie and his gf. Here's a guy I've respected for a long time, so when I discovered he lives a mile from my house, it was a must to get together for drinks and reflect on the coincidence of everything. Of course, nothing ever goes as expected, and after swilling some beers at a local pub, we arrived at the venue of the concert--a park downtown--to discover the whole thing had been cancelled. We were two hours late so we were puzzled what happened, especially with the stage all set up and yet empty, so we parked and tried to corner somebody in the know. This led to the exchange of the night, where we asked the most official guy around--this delirious brotha in his 40's-- if the concert was still a go. The guy started to circle around us, mumbling over and over, "Oh it's gonna happen, it'll HAPPEN, yes sirree Bob, it gonna happen, no doubt, it'll happen." That's when I noticed that we were the only two in the park who didn't reside there permanently. At that point, despite the initial confusion, it was clear the concert was cancelled because of the light rain, which was disappointing, and yet, what could we do?
This meant a return to the bar, and more drinking. In short, in case you were curious, and just as expected, Gorbie's one of those guys that you meet and instantly feel like you've known your whole life, a straight up cool dude, and I left the bar feeling a sense of optimism about humanity, which was nice, for a change.
But this piece isn't about that, or him, it's about the girl I made arrangements with for later that night, a tender who in short was going to be my birthday present to myself--considering the time and energy I put into getting her to see me in the first place. The girl is gorgeous, that's the key here, and even though something's off about her, and she's got this West Virginian accent that makes you think of squeeling pigs, she has one of those smiles that causes you to rethink your place in the world. She had just moved around the block from me, which was great, because I didn't have to drive drunk, rather I just had to take a nice summer walk, pausing only to smoke a bowl in the alleyway and yack the remains of my fish and chips dinner before buzzing my way into her complex.
When I arrived I was struck by the decor of her apartment, or rather, the lack of furniture, everywhere, except for the bedroom, which was completely furnished, with paintings and an antique dresser and all these crazy lotions and lingerie lined up in the closet. She was just relaxing on her bed when I arrived, watching somemovie on the Lifetime channel. Oddly she was a little too engrossed in the film. That's where things get bizarre, because the TV was really loud, and in the middle of fooling around minutes later, I noticed she was paying no attention to what we were during. Instead she continued to watch TV. I found it strange and deflating to my ego, and yet, I persevered. About a half hour later, as the headboard was rocking, she again was just consumed with the TV. Finally I said, hey, sorry you're missing your movie, which led her to grin from ear to ear and say, no problem, I've already seen this one. She then proceeded to tell me the entire plotline, twenty minutes long, all the while I could feel myself shrinking inside of her. At first I kept trying to finish, but finally I realized I was wasted, that I had just thrown up in an alleyway like a bad Bukowski cliche, and that the nectar I had built up in my mind was more concerned with watching the goddamn home of the Golden Girls than being erotic with me. Finally, I just threw on my boxers and dove back into bed.
As if that wasn't enough, she pulled out pictures of her 2 year old son. Then she started talking about this 50 year old man who's obsessed with her, how he co-signed for her apartment and would freak out if I was there. When I asked some more questions she dumped at least a hundred Hallmark cards from this guy onto the bed, with pictures and drawings and the cheesiest love poems a fat bald guy in his 50's could come up with, along with this line at the end about how he would kill anyone if they ever touched her.
Needless to say I got my things and left, making up this excuse about how I left the coffee pot on in my kitchen. She didn't seem to question it. And yet, the next day she called me three times, and now, after totally not being into me, she won't leave me alone. She's beautiful, I mean really adorable, and everytime I see her I'm temporarily able to forgot the frustrations of our encounter, but still, I think I'm going to be missing in action for awhile.
I have decided to not build things up in my mind anymore. That way I can't be disappointed when things go astray. I guess I can chalk it up to another crazy encounter, a narrative to get through the day, as I stare into packed classrooms with all eyes affixed to me, and try to explain to all these impressionable young minds what this chaos really means, which is perhaps the greatest irony of it all....
- JazX0
another classic by kingjulien
- dirtydesign0
A little long!?!? No time to read the novel.
- tny0
nice kj
- brandelec0
great one again julien
- tim5250
sweet as always.
- gruntt0
"...she has one of those smiles that causes you to rethink your place in the world."
such a nice way to describe a girl that i now want to choke. =)
thanks KJ. always a pleasure.
- kingjulien0
Thanks guys...
- radar0
good stuff.
- vespa0
love the attention to detail - it didn't grab me until you mentioned the lack of furniture everywhere in the house except the bedroom, oooooh the lonliness!
that bit gave me that feeling of agoraphobia you get in your stomach at 3 o'clock in the afternoon when you're living in a big empty house and you can feel the emptiness of suburbia stretching out all around you, it's like she was trying to constuct a universe for herself, projecting a Lifetime inside the prefab husk of the old man's apartment and she's drowning out her sad reality with dancing images and canned laughter.
like that scene in requiem for a dream where at first the television keeps her company but slowly begins to consume her.
- ludawg0
that was a great read. thanks for sharing it. i hate it when a girl is so beautiful, it makes up for the awful things that she has done.
- kingjulien0
wow, vespa, thanks, your insights are awesome. it's funny too, because i was thinking of requiem for a dream in the moment. i kept hearing juice for tappy juice for tappy as I was trying to get an emotional response from this girl, but i thought my mind was just playing tricks on me....
- vespa0
oooooOOOOOOOHHH! Tappy's got jiuce!
i used to have this thing about shagging to a man's national televised sport, there was something incredibly empty about it. i can't stand sport on the telly normally. i managed aussie rules, basketball and cricket before i stopped chasing stylised boredom.
anyways luv gotta jet i'm seeing kings of leon tonight yay! thanks for the story.
- nick0
nice
- Tara0
nice one
- MrDinky0
i always on the look out for girls who is wearing white top caught in the shower
- kingjulien0
Just out of curiosity, what does that mean, MrDinky?
- Gorbie0
maybe we coulda done without that last pitcher? haha. you must like to get all you can out of a night... i was pretty well done when we parted ways.
"squeeling pigs"... hahaha. maybe you could temp her to come out sometime. we could go to a bar with lots of TV's.
happy belated birthday.
- kingjulien0
thanks, dude. we'll have to run it back again soon....
- peteski0
{snip} the most official guy around--this delirious brotha in his 40's {/snip}
rand. in cowtown ?
- Gorbie0
whoda thunkit?
must have been Rand, cause that guy was definately down.