closer
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- kingjulien
There's this literary magazine that keeps rejecting me. I've gotten the same "Thanks but I'm afraid it isn't a fit for us" email 6 times. Friday, after a road rage incident I'd prefer not to discusss, I emailed the editor directly, and sarcastically implied that his taste sucked, his journal was sophomoric, and the whole staff could gently caress my ballsack, whenever it was convenient. The guy responded a day later. He apologized for "disappointing me" by not publishing my work, and said he would try better next time. I thought it was pretty cool the way he handled my juvenile behavior, so I played along, and told him, yes, please try harder.
The funny thing is, the editor wrote back last night, asking if he could interview me for a story he's doing about writers who respond angrily to rejection. He wanted to know if I did this sort of thing regularly. His email was detailed enough to make it seem serious, and his tone was sincere, so it's probaly legit, but I still think he's setting me up to be punked.
Either way I'm amused, because I've now formed a relationship with this guy, even if it's one based on scorn and contempt. I just told him he could ask me any question he wanted. I also told him that I have a tendency to talk about my ballsack, which are really big and pink, and how, when I stuff them in a speedo, they're packed in tight like Jalapeno popppers. I told him that I hoped this sort of answer could somehow make it into the piece. I hope he takes me seriously.
I also sent another new story, and requested a copy and paste answer. I told him that I needed a fix-- bad, and that he must help me, and only the same old rejection could stop the tremens I've experienced.
Call me delusional, but I'm getting closer, I can feel it.
- fawn0
good luck!!!
btw i know where you can get some good hired goons for cheap
- todelete__20
you know, according to csi there is a very small difference between insanity and persistence.
insanity is doing the same thing over and over with the same results. persistence is eventually succeeding in your goals.
hopefully yours is the later.
- brandelec0
dude you need to get a tan on those ballsacs
- mogwai0
haha Kona.
Kinjulien I enjoy reading your posts, and after scouring through your website last Friday i really think you can get your work published.
I think you bite off writers you admire a tad (i also admire those writers), but such is being contemporary and young.
in all i think you have a knack telling the truth and lying at the same time. i wish you the best.
- Rand0
many years ago I had an editor at the New Yorker who kept responding encouragingly to my submissions, but not accepting them. They were "grooming me." I eventually became so self conscious that I spent a whole year on one paragraph, and three years before my next submission. By the time I sent it in, my editor had moved on. I got another encouraging letter from a new editor, but the writing was on the wall, and I became a graphic designer.
- kingjulien0
Fawn, just out of curiosity, how much to have someone shot in the pinky toe? I've got this other problem individual...
Kona, I hope so too.
Brandelac, don't all white boys have pink sack? Do I need to begin a new insecurity? Does tanning lotion work down there?
Mogwai, Rand, as always, thanks.
- fawn0
toe shooting is about $15 or a 40 of big bear and a pouch of Drum
- kingjulien0
Sweet. What about a Nancy Kerrigan? What will that cost? A Maddog 20/20 and some Cortizone-10 anal itch creme?
Fawn, I knew we were tight like that.